Cleaning My Damned Apartment, Day 19: Clearing time clutter

expiration date

Yesterday, I made it formal: I talked to my agent about saying bye-bye to acting.

Now, it’s not like this has been a banner year for me, acting-wise; it’s been my worst year since the commercial strike. I’m hitting a weird time, age-wise, and the business has changed a lot, too. Auditions were down anyway, to the point where the few people with whom I discussed my potential move wondered why I would actively take myself out of the game. Why not just go to whatever auditions were left and pursue what I wanted in my down time.

But I was starting to notice two things about auditioning. Either I was mainly happy being there to see all the friends I’ve made over the years or I resented being there at all for the time it was stealing from things I wanted to be doing more. Not good, either of them.

And there is a great, great power in working clean—admitting out loud, to yourself and the universe, that this is what you want. This.

So I’m out. Or on hiatus, as my lovely agent said we should put it.

But really, no matter how you slice it, there are big changes afoot.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way…

xxx
c

Photo by Tartanna via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license

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8 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. I don’t know why exactly, but I love your thinking here.

  2. i agree. whatever you’re doing, make sure it’s on purpose and that you love it. otherwise, what is the point? unless you are aware that you are wasting time and that is exactly what you need right then.
    tricky, that.

  3. It’s excellent that you are making this transition. I hope you celebrate, throw things on the funeral pyre, move yourself into the next step without a worry for the stream you left, bceause of the scream you’re entering instead.

    And shoot tiny videos of yourself for the web. Make your own films, where you act by not acting, reporting on whatever facets you feel would prove interesting.

    Or not. Life truly is the next tab.

  4. communicatrix

    Robert - I think I know why… :-)

    leahpeah - given the little I know of your own history, I’m sure you’re an expert on all of this. And yes, this here thang is the easy part. The fallow, necessary time-wasting parts—*those* are a bitch.

    Chris - “Life truly is the next tab” is my new-favorite motto. Thank you for that. Most excellent.

  5. Good for you. If you’re gonna clean house, go for the whole enchilada. Uh, does this mean we’re going to be tossed off your blogroll next?

  6. So what are you going to do for $$$?

  7. BF

    whoa whoa whoa…

    does this mean I CAN’T tell my mom I abandonded my family for an an actor ?!?!?

    when I moved to Los Angeles, the first advice I got was
    1) get a thomas guide
    2) save all your reeciepts
    3) never date an actor (they’re all crazy)

    but yeah, the crazy makes ‘em great in bed!

    dilemmas of modern life…

  8. Bon

    I like to say I’m offer only.



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