As most of you know, I’m off the dating train—too far off to write a book or a blog that would be of use, and yet I cannot stand for my hard-won knowledge to go unused.
So when I came across this random list in my mini-purge-fest, I figured that at the very least, I could slap it into a blog post without looking ridiculous.
There are whole books—nay, shelves upon shelves of books these days—you can read on the topic of dating. If you’re looking for more, I’d suggest If the Buddha Dated. (There’s some good advice in He’s Just Not That Into You, too, but it’s mostly in the title, with a few extra tips easily extracted in a half-hour, in-store read.)
And like I’ve said before: better to rent than own! Or at least, rent first!
Okay—on with the list.
The communicatrix’s Top 10 Tips for Dating If You’re Doing It to Find a Happy and Successful Relationship (as opposed to just sex, which is also great)
- Never date anyone better looking than you are.
- This goes double if you are a chick.
- Character is revealed in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone, and does not change.
- If someone tells you he’s crazy, he is.
- If someone tells you he doesn’t think he ever wants to get married, he doesn’t.
- If the sex is sporadic in the first six months, it will never be plentiful.
- You cannot change how a person kisses.
- Under no circumstances should you move in with a person before you’ve known them for at least one year.
- Better to make it two.
- And wait at least one more to get engaged.
Remember: you may need to switch up your shampoos until you find one that leaves your hair shiny and manageable. Once you do, I advocate cultivating brand loyalty.
xxx
c
Image by shutterbug, inc. via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.
{ 8 comments }
Nice list. Except 1 & 2 – if we follow them all, we can only date people who look exactly like we do ;)
Oh, and your shampoo needs to change if you change hair color – just found that out. Sigh.
No 7 clinches it.
Robert – obviously, most people are going to break the rules. but I still maintain that parity is a good thing. I think it translates to “equivalent” more than “equal”, which would be really, really hard to pull off, unless only twins are allowed to mate (ew…creepy…).
And you’re right about the shampoo-switcheroo addendum. It’s an imperfect analogy for an imperfect world :-)
Jeremy – you said it, brother. Actually, I said it. There–we both said it, so it must be true.
Communicatrix:
You’ve often commented on my blog, so now my turn to comment on yours! I love your list. Very true. Although I have been successful modifiying how a few guys kiss, my current beau included. Now he’s a dreamy kisser. It takes desire on the person’s part to learn how you like to be kissed, and visa versa.
Dating Goddess
Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40
http://www.DatingGoddess.com
I dunno, Dating Goddess isn’t Married Goddess. In lieu of “crazy” I’ve always run away from people trying to convince me they were normal.
Sorry, Dating Goddess – just read your bio. You WERE Married Goddess, so I should take my foot out of my mouth now.
Thanks Tim!
There’s a reason I’m not Married Goddess, which is explained in the bio and first postings. I’ve had proposals, but declined as I knew we weren’t a good long-term match. As communicatrix points out in 8, 9 and 10, you have to know each other a while before getting serious, and I’ve only been dating 2.5 years.
And yes, you’re right about the crazy/normal issue. I dated a crazy psychiatrist for a while and he kept trying to convince me he was normal. But he definately wanted, although he could pass himself off for normal for short periods of time.
Dating Goddess
Goddess@DatingGoddess.com
everyone should go to (redacted)’s recommended blog and leave links to the top ten blogs they can think of. I hate blog spammers
***
@cherrimae: me, too. I 86d that spamulation.
Comments on this entry are closed.