I can’t say whether this has any basis in fact, but it sounds reasonable to me. I can’t speak for any other man, but I have to admit that the woman’s age hasn’t mattered one bit to me whatsoever. Boobs is boobs. Old, young (but legal), small, perky, big, floppy… whatever.

I love them all.

Throw in to the mix the entirely plausible bit about the breeding-survival instinct, and I figure you’ll be fine for decades to come as long as there’s men — or women for that matter — like me (I’m certain we outnumber the boobie elitists).

Thanks for the kind words.

And I’m sure there are more euphemisms for the girls on heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Viverati. This is just the tip (er) of the iceberg(s).

Content matter aside (which I found, erm, titillating), the writing is awesome. Entertaining as heck. I never knew there were so many synonyms for “the girls”.

Lisa - I hear you on invisibility. At least, I think I do. I’ve been preparing myself for it for years. It will be interesting to uncover my feelings when it actually happens, as it doubtless must (unless we’re anticipating a sudden end to the patriarchy, and I’m afeard that the only way that will happen is if everything ends, period.)

This phenomenon actually happens to men, as well, which makes it more of a societally ageist thing, I guess. I mean just randomly–to men walking down the street; men in positions of power probably never encounter it, provided they carefully control the contexts in which they appear.

Ah, well. Tune in in 20 (10? 30?) and I’ll let you know.

adena - Oh, I’m not denying the physical realities. That would be foolish (and occasionally hazardous, as you’ve pointed out.)

As to the judging, I no more want to see thinly veiled gazongas than I do treasure trails, Spandex man-bulge or what’s revealed by dago tees worn sans coverup. For the love of mystery, people, keep some of it to yourself. Really.

Jean - Thank you! I hope that my breasts will be unfashionably small again soon. If the magical, appetite-suppressing powers of the Shangri-La Diet continue to work, it may be a reality rather than a pipe dream.

As far as bras, I hate them, but they are a necessary evil when you are a D-cup. I cannot, and WOULD not even think of going in public w/o something holding these babies up, because 1) I hate being the center of attention and 2) I think bad things about women w/ massive gazongas hanging down to their knees, while wearing thin tee-shirts…which actually happens quite a lot around here.

Maybe I’m a bad feminist…but really, who wants to see that? Especially when you’re driving. It’s like hypnotism and can cause a multiple car pile up.

Here’s the deal. And I hate to say this. Actually pisses me off to say it, but here goes: The day will come when no heads turn. You will be invisible. At first it will seem like a relief. But soon after that you will realize you’ve been excluded from a vast segment of society. You don’t exist. You’re old. Period. Touching, no just observing your boobs would be akin to necrophilia. Sorry sistah, but something in me wants to be an old girl with old girls that still get invited to the party, even if I end up declining the invitation.

Bizarre and lovely.