I doubt he got any special treatment, unless you’re talking the special treatment that anyone who has money or decent health insurance gets over someone who doesn’t. The drugs for IBD all suck in some way, but they can be miraculous in holding things at bay, and many of the side effects don’t show up for years. Conveniently, I would say, esp. in cases like this.

Thanks for saying that about Dad. It was his life to live as he pleased, even if it was kind of annoying/scary for his loved ones. And he outlived Mom, who had equally good longevity genes, by nine years. Hooray for alcoholism, the great leveler. (God, can I possible have spelled that right? Is “leveler” even a word, when not a brand name?)

That is the beauty of holistic medicine in that when it is effective, it doesn’t go to town on your organs.

I’m also sorry to hear about your pop.

1. Learn how to turn the question/query for help into something that will interest or benefit them.

Most people will help you if they feel like they’re really helping themselves. It’s easier to ask for advice using this hack, b/c you can appeal to someone’s vanity: they’re this big expert! Someone is asking them for advice! Doesn’t work as well when you’re looking for help moving to a new apartment. (Although I would be the first one to say, hire help for this. Don’t cheap out. Too easy to piss away goodwill with moving favors.)

2. Think more creatively about “help” and where it can come from.

Your most obvious resources–the people and institutions that come to mind first–aren’t the only resources available to you, and may not be the best ones.

3. Use this as an opportunity to review where you’re placing your friendship.

Maybe your friends suck. Or maybe (take a deep breath) you suck. You see, I used to suck. A lot. I was a shitty, self-centered “friend” in many ways. Frankly, it was a miracle I had help from certain quarters for many years.

I’m nicer now, and quicker to give help. And, whaddya know, there’s more help for ME now when I need it.

Write Procrastinator - And to you, too!

While I’m happy to have awareness raised RE: the nastiness that is Crohn’s, I fucking hate the motherfucking Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation, a.k.a. the puppet government backed by big pharma.

There were horror stories that used to come up on the Long Island ListServ about people getting shouted down at CCFA meetings when they even tried bringing up the success they’d had with the SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet). So fuck them and fuck their big money. They’re making all kinds of money on maintenance drugs that do nothing but hold things at bay for a while.

One reason I got back on SCD was to get off these toxic meds once and for all. I’m on a very low maintenance dose of mercaptopurine for peace of mind. But it’s a liver killer. My dad died of complications from Crohn’s (liver failure) b/c of his stubborn refusal to alter his diet and lifestyle, and his physicians are complicit, as far as I’m concerned.

Western medicine excels at the silver bullet: surgery, for example. Attending to acute trauma. If your appendix blows up, you want to be in driving distance of a Western hospital.

But our doctors get almost no holistic training. There’s some grudging acceptance that stress can be a contributing factor to illness, and that poor diet can contribute to overall ill health, but not nearly enough.

On the other hand, most of us are raised to be sheeple, turning over authority to our doctors. Ridiculous. They should be partners, not bosses or gods.

I thought that you might want to know that during the Seattle/Washington halftime show, they brought the fact that the quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars, David Garrard has Crohn’s as well.

Still, there is something about going public with something that is transformational. Already, since I brought up the help thing, help has been crawling out from everywhere! Like nice bugs!

Kate - Il n’y a pas de quoi! I am delighted you found me, and that you’ve found stuff here to inspire you. The more people out there creating, the better.

As to the rest, thank you for that excellent, concise summary. I’m glad to hear I’ve picked a good rewiring tool. I’ll keep you (and everyone else) posted on how it works.