Comments on: Stop! Sucking! Day 11: (Not) keeping it to yourself http://www.communicatrix.com/2008/04/stop-sucking-day-11-not-keeping-it-to-yourself.html a virgo's guide to the universe Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:17:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: communicatrix http://www.communicatrix.com/2008/04/stop-sucking-day-11-not-keeping-it-to-yourself.html#comment-40442 communicatrix Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:15:03 +0000 http://www.communicatrix.com/?p=1300#comment-40442 Sheryl - Well, in the short term, I guess it's "grumble & do." In the long term, I'm really, really, really trying to look at it as "Hmm...what the fuck is up with my all-out-of-proportion hatred of this thing?" I generally don't enjoy the answers, but I know I would enjoy the results of NOT listening to them even less. BTW, it's such a relief to hear I'm not alone in this. B/c seriously, this is one area where I feel like a nonstop power loser. Sheryl - Well, in the short term, I guess it’s “grumble & do.” In the long term, I’m really, really, really trying to look at it as “Hmm…what the fuck is up with my all-out-of-proportion hatred of this thing?”

I generally don’t enjoy the answers, but I know I would enjoy the results of NOT listening to them even less.

BTW, it’s such a relief to hear I’m not alone in this. B/c seriously, this is one area where I feel like a nonstop power loser.

]]> By: Sheryl Sisk Schelin http://www.communicatrix.com/2008/04/stop-sucking-day-11-not-keeping-it-to-yourself.html#comment-40441 Sheryl Sisk Schelin Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:06:50 +0000 http://www.communicatrix.com/?p=1300#comment-40441 I've been struggling with this particular form of suckitude (suckiness?) over the last year. I just. don't. wanna. do. it. Any of it. Obviously not doing "X" isn't an option, at least not universally. I find myself grumbling at the dog. I tried to take the yoga lessons off the mat -- equanimity, nonreactiveness. I ended up just getting mad at myself but not getting anything done. It's hard, though, to get past that squeamishness over claiming my right (I almost put that in quotes! Geez) to be pissed off at the obligation's existence. I’ve been struggling with this particular form of suckitude (suckiness?) over the last year. I just. don’t. wanna. do. it. Any of it. Obviously not doing “X” isn’t an option, at least not universally. I find myself grumbling at the dog. I tried to take the yoga lessons off the mat — equanimity, nonreactiveness. I ended up just getting mad at myself but not getting anything done. It’s hard, though, to get past that squeamishness over claiming my right (I almost put that in quotes! Geez) to be pissed off at the obligation’s existence.

]]> By: communicatrix http://www.communicatrix.com/2008/04/stop-sucking-day-11-not-keeping-it-to-yourself.html#comment-40419 communicatrix Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:23:50 +0000 http://www.communicatrix.com/?p=1300#comment-40419 Mary Ellen - I think that unless you go live on a mountaintop (and maybe even then, but I'm not about to try) you're always dealing with equilibrium issues because of outside pressures/input and hardwiring and programming. *Anything* that helps you recognize yourself and "get" your owner's manual is good stuff; for most Westerners in this day and age, I think it comes from therapy and/or coaching. And, if you're lucky, the right kind of friends. Mary Ellen - I think that unless you go live on a mountaintop (and maybe even then, but I’m not about to try) you’re always dealing with equilibrium issues because of outside pressures/input and hardwiring and programming. *Anything* that helps you recognize yourself and “get” your owner’s manual is good stuff; for most Westerners in this day and age, I think it comes from therapy and/or coaching. And, if you’re lucky, the right kind of friends.

]]> By: Mary Ellen http://www.communicatrix.com/2008/04/stop-sucking-day-11-not-keeping-it-to-yourself.html#comment-40418 Mary Ellen Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:21:39 +0000 http://www.communicatrix.com/?p=1300#comment-40418 Therapy has been tremendously helpful to me in legitimizing those "ick" places. You are so right when you say that, unrecognized, they'll find their legitimacy elsewhere (i.e. "Let your organs do the talking."). It was my early home / church that taught me such skillfulness in hammering the head of those nails almost before they surfaced in my own awareness. But then (and still, if I lose awareness), an equally harmful pattern set in--chronic grumble. Almost as if I said to myself, "I've spent years keeping this stuff quiet. Now it's payback time." Of course, "it's nowhere you want to live," only repels people and puts too much cortisol into my system. Yippee for that curious spot in the middle, which, as you say, can begin to be found by giving the "ick" some attention. Therapy has been tremendously helpful to me in legitimizing those “ick” places. You are so right when you say that, unrecognized, they’ll find their legitimacy elsewhere (i.e. “Let your organs do the talking.”). It was my early home / church that taught me such skillfulness in hammering the head of those nails almost before they surfaced in my own awareness. But then (and still, if I lose awareness), an equally harmful pattern set in–chronic grumble. Almost as if I said to myself, “I’ve spent years keeping this stuff quiet. Now it’s payback time.” Of course, “it’s nowhere you want to live,” only repels people and puts too much cortisol into my system. Yippee for that curious spot in the middle, which, as you say, can begin to be found by giving the “ick” some attention.

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