Stop! Sucking! Day 13: Stop and take it in
We are an always-on, go-get-’em kind of people these days. Most of us, anyway.
Especially those of us stateside, who lack the perspective that thousands of years of history gives one. We’re a restless bunch, we Yanks: kind of sharklike in that always-moving-forward kinda way.
Sometimes, it’s good to move forward. As the panel of wildly (at least, by my terms) successful entrepreneurs on the panel at the alumni event I attended tonight largely agreed, in many cases there’s no such thing as moving fast enough.
That’s true. It’s as ridiculous to say “never go at breakneck speed” as it is to have “whoa, Nelly” as your default mode. For the 4000th time since I first noticed it, I’ll repeat: everything in moderation, moderation inclusive. I’m glad I did myself damage on a scale that would prohibit my run for the presidency, and not just because I think it’s one of the crappiest jobs around. I like that I lived the Debauched Life, however briefly my delicate constitution allowed for it. What’s the old saw? Better to ask forgiveness than permission? That in our advanced years, we mostly regret the sins of omission, not commission?
The older I get, the more experiences I have under my belt, the more I realize that the real value—the true skill or gift—lies in a state of relaxed readiness. A lack of attachment to outcome. A goal or a vision that can remain intact even as the game plan shifts. Improvising.
Tonight, I went out to meet a bunch of new people, and ended up speaking mostly to one good friend (you know who you are.) It was heaven, and not just because we were doing it in beautiful surroundings with great snacks and two of my favorite red wines (hello, Cambria Pinot! hello, La Crema!)
It was heaven because it fed my soul. New acquaintances are wonderful, and I hope to meet many more of you in the extremely-not-too-distant future. But old friends are touchstones: important reminders of where we’ve been, how we’ve grown and what’s involved in getting from one end to the other.
Almost incidentally, as I was walking out of the incredibly posh venue, I realized that the last time I’d been there was with my father, probably five years ago, when he was still alive and while he was still traveling. It’s a place that for so many reasons I’d been dreading a return to, and when I did? Nothing but silk.
From one planner (just ask The BF) to maybe a bunch of others (there’s a reason you’re here, right?), keep your plan. Just keep it loosely.
There is beauty in full-steam-ahead. There is beauty in floating adrift.
There is peace in knowing when to do what…
xxx
c
UPDATE: My friend, Evelyn Rodriguez, points to a great story about attachment (and the importance of discarding it) involving Krishnamurti.
Image by Ryan Yam via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.
TOPICS: 21 day salutes, communication, Stop! Sucking!.






5 Comments, Comment or Ping
GirlPie
And what a nice reminder to stop and take in what’s left of our time with our parents…
But your intuitive analogy to the difference between ‘full-steam-ahead’ and ‘floating adrift’ reminds me that (wiser-than-me have said) time is a river, still and moving at once. The boulders that root may become glorious dams and waterfalls, but still get bashed and worn with attrition; the reeds that are also rooted but continue to grow and bend and stay flexible… they ‘go with the flow’ and seem to get the better side of the river, even as they break free and float on. The river may rush on, but we can still enjoy the float.
And that’s all SO unlike me, so the fact that you make my brain do that — it’s why I come back. Thanks.
Apr 22nd, 2008
Jandi
Beautiful! And exactly the reminder I needed today…thank you from my (calmer) heart.
Apr 23rd, 2008
communicatrix
GirlPie - Hadn’t even intended it, but yes, it’s easy to take for granted that your parents (or anyone else, for that matter) will always be there, and of course, they won’t. Even if people have less-than-ideal relationships with their parents, I think it’s a good idea to work through those things while the parents are alive; soooooo much harder after they’re gone. Even if you’re working through it long-distance, and w/out their knowledge.
And of course, you know that I write about all this stuff b/c it’s what *I* need to know. I mean, you know that, right?
Jandi - Thank you! Delighted to have served in some small way.
Apr 23rd, 2008
GirlPie
Colleen — We ALL write about what we need to get right — I think the folks you attract all know that… it’s why I’m a buttinsky in the comments of the more clever, insightful, fun blogs out there — to learn something about what I’m mouthing off about! Jeez, we BETTER all know that!
Apr 23rd, 2008
communicatrix
GirlPie - This may be old news to all y’all (my new-fave hillbilly greeting, btw), but it’s new-ew-ews to me.
Just wanted to say that out loud in case any of you wisenheimers got the idea I feel like I know what I’m doing, or that I’m all that.
Apr 23rd, 2008