Comments on: Why people hate Oprah

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 09:49:11 +0000

Funny how much this “cool” thing holds us back. You, at least, take risks despite not feeling cool enough, or so it seems to this outsider. I chronically hold myself back (ie am I cool enough to go to Burning Man or our local fringe fest? – not in my mind I’m not)-despite actually being one of the coolest people I know in my very small pond.

All of this is to say we all have to keep talking about that underbelly, that 15 year old wandering the halls of high school as a huge misfit who still lurks within us. And you did that…and that’s what makes people love you.

I have a love/hate relationship with Oprah. But I’ll bet she’s not worrying about me…

By: the communicatrix

the communicatrix — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:18:30 +0000

Wow. Seems like this was a pretty resonant one, so hooray for that.

A few add’l points…

Elge – I should add that I felt a little guilty saying even anything negative about Tolle in the context of this post. Re-reading it, I come off as pretty snarky. The reality is, I totally get how other people might like Tolle (including Oprah) while simultaneously not getting him AT ALL.

Carole, Kody and Positively – Thanks for coming out for Oprah. I think it’s become really fashionable to actively dislike her as she’s started to do more of the things her heart desires. As Shepherd says, she’s picked a tough road, trying to be a mediator, and a massively mass-market one, at that. I try to acknowledge that some of what she does makes me uneasy because it’s true, but also because I feel like it can calm down the militant anti-Oprah types enough to acknowledge that yes, maybe she’s doing some good and yes, we’re all a little different (and isn’t it nice when we can get along?).

Karl – I was shocked when people started ragging on Ferriss for that. For other things—hubris, maybe, or his oogly habit of finding loopholes—yes, okay. But that was so clearly a puffery claim: he’s been upfront from the get-go about working his ass off ALL the time; the 4-hour bit was clearly about finding a way to relegate the part of your life you maybe didn’t like so much but needed to do to keep body & soul together to as teensy a slice of time as possible.

Thanks, EVERYONE, for so much support. So very, very appreciated as I learn to manage this stuff.

By: Shepherd Hoodwin

Shepherd Hoodwin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:57:10 +0000

So much to think about in this one. I notice most politicians, including President Obama, and media personalities like Oprah, choosing their words very carefully, trying to be clear and not unnecessarily incite controversy–choosing their battles. That still doesn’t stop at least some people from making up horrible lies about them. Anyone who isn’t completely invisible can run into this. It’s a balancing act to welcome constructive criticism while getting it clearly that other people have their stuff that may not have anything to do with me.

I admire Michael Moore and Keith Olbermann because they don’t pull their punches, but they’re not go-to guys when we’re looking for mediators. On the other hand, I wish President Obama took more risks (like coming out for gay marriage) but I understand why he doesn’t. He’s spending his political capital carefully. As does Oprah.

She had Bill O’Reilly on her show. He spewed his usual hate, and she didn’t call him on it. She was being an objective journalist, trying to create goodwill. Maybe she gave him enough rope to hang himself.

In any case, there’s a balance to be found in all things, such as speaking frankly without creating unnecessary and useless resistance. It’s about sensing what others can hear.

By: Alexis Ahrens

Alexis Ahrens — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:57:12 +0000

Amen, Sister! True, the more we take a stand and speak our truth, the more we open ourselves up to scorn or judgment. However, I notice so many people taking this stand, that I suspect at some point in the not too distant future, those few who continue to point and laugh will find themselves sheepishly standing alone with no one interested in their pithy remarks.

Taking it back to Marianne Williamson: by letting your light shine, you give others permission to do the same.

Shine on, Colleen!

By: nicolien

nicolien — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:56:57 +0000

As the Dutch saying goes: ‘high trees catch a lot of wind.’

To which I’d like to add: as long as you are connected to your ‘roots’, no storm can bring you down.

I’m enjoying what you are putting out here. Thank you!

By: Kare Anderson

Kare Anderson — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:48:01 +0000

Colleen this is my all-time favorite post of yours. Like many I can identify with so many parts, especially “I had a secret fear for most of my life that the people from my completely non-overlapping groups of friends would meet up somehow, take one look at each other, another at me, and all leave in disgust.”

Twice when many parts of my world came together – at my wedding and at a gathering I orchestrated, the mini-groups gathered separately and stared at each other, a few mingled, especially around the food and drink areas – yet they talked about each other alot afterwards… and years later we’ve all mellowed out more and, at Dec holiday party I hosted many more of them mingled and kidded each other directly…. ah the seasons of life, eh, reflective Colleen?

By: Doris Fuellgrabe

Doris Fuellgrabe — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:26:09 +0000

wow – so you’ve been getting some hate-mail, huh… well, I hope you don’t take them too personally and remember to take the source into account, i.e. whatever the haters pick up on usually says more about themselves than it does about you.
Negative feedback is a hard pill to swallow, I’m with you on that. Molding yourself into someone you think people will like, I get that, too, and I was never popular despite (or because?) of trying.
Quote John Cusack, “(as) a paranoid schizophrenic, I am my own entourage.” Amalgamating myselVES into one more or less encompassing coherent person: still working on it. Hallelujah for being able to speak out about the process.
xx

By: Positively Present

Positively Present — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:13:56 +0000

I related to so much in this post, I don’t even know where to begin. For awhile now, I’ve been a fan of Oprah but I couldn’t identify exacting why and you have completely summed it up for me by saying: “She’s for books and for women and for personal growth, and I am for these, too.” Though there are quite a few things I disgree with Oprah on, she’s doing her thing and she’s succeeding at it so good for her.

I think I’m still in the stage of my life where I am trying to balance all sorts of different groups of people, likes and dislikes, and trying to figure out who I am. I really appreciated reading this post, as it gave me something I could really relate to — and hope that all of this personal growth I’m working on will somehow get me to a better place where I can completely, 100% do my thing.

This is my first visit to your site and now I’m hooked! :)

By: EJ

EJ — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:57:20 +0000

Its true if you never stand up for anything, you can never be criticized for anything, either. But, jeez, what a boring, non-productive life that would be!

By: Kody

Kody — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:16:04 +0000

I love Oprah. I think I have seen her so often that I feel like she is a friend of mine. I often don’t agree with her, like her book choices or her outfits, but I feel that way about all of my friends. She puts her SELF out there. She is who she is. She tries hard to do good. She doesn’t always succeed, but she is always genuine. I really admire that.