A lot of the feedback I’ve been getting on my wackadoodle, up-and-down journey through divesting has centered around the overwhelm factor, which makes sense: getting rid of anything is hard for a lot of us, and a kind of paralysis can set in when you’re getting rid of a TON of stuff.
I had a few marathon sessions before I hit a wall of exhaustion. You may find that you, too, go kind of crazy with the decluttering once the stopper’s been pulled from the drain. But eventually, you need to rest. You do. Even given all that beautiful new energy that pours in to support you. (Maybe it’s angels, giving you the high-sign from above.)
And once you’ve hit the wall and your sprint is over, something else may pop up to further interrupt the process. For me, it was an out-of-town trip to a conference. For three days, I did no decluttering (although I did enjoy the best-packed bag I’ve ever had at my destination). It was kind of like going off a diet a little, then really falling off the wagon, then deciding, “Hell. I’m'a let that wagon just roll on into the next town while I stay here and eat my way through this pile of Ho-Hos.”
For you, the way back in may be whole hog. If so, that’s grand! Me, I suffer from Shiny Object Syndromeâ„¢ and myriad other ailments that make me prone to wicked backsliding.
This time around, I’ve tried something new that seems to be helping:
When I pick something up I haven’t touched in a while, I stop, weigh it in my hand and ask if I still want or need it. If I do, it stays (duh). If I don’t, I put it in the Goodwill bag, which is large and opaque.
It’s a small gesture, but like bringing your attention to your breathing in yoga/meditation or asking yourself the “where am I right now?” question of Method acting, it can be powerfully effective.
If you’re on the decluttering train yourself, maybe give it a whirl and let me know how it goes. Or, as folks did in the posts on travel and books, leave your own excellent one-off, quickie ideas for keeping the pump primed (the paint wet? the other, better metaphor?) in between big uses.
xxx
c
Image by Nadyuuusha via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.
I completely understand the delight and high that comes along with the bright, shiny objects. For me it’s about the hunt, the discovery, the purchase and the ownership of such a wonderful thing.
In nurturing a new business, I have found that my pockets are not nearly so deep as they used to be. When the 50th birthday came along of one of my most darling friends, I was at a loss as to what to give her. It crossed my mind that she adores and covets a stunning ring that I own, a glorious, big, burnished square of silver. Even thinking about giving it away elicited a inner, four-year-old yell of “mine!” in my head (never mind that I don’t wear it much). I had the little talk with myself “I bet that she will appreciate it much more than you miss it”.
So I did it. I wrapped up this little silver ‘friend’ that I thought defined my style. My tough, no-nonsense friend completely melted. She teared up and simply asked “is this yours?”. I understood that it meant so much more to her that it was important to me.
The funny result was that I felt soooooo much lighter having given this piece away. And the delight from my friend far outweighed what I thought my loss might be. And each time she wears it, she’ll be reminded of how much I love her.
Not bad for one ring.
Colleen, keep up the clutter-busting! We’re with ya.
Anne, that’s cool. I used to have a four leaf clover. I kept it wrapped in paper and taped to the back of my week-at-a-glance that I carried in my pocket everywhere, every day for 7 years. I made a new college-aged friend and was also friendly with her beau. We 3 played a lot of Dance Dance Revolution together. He was amazed by my 4 leaf clover. I had teased him about looking young and though that wasn’t a big deal, when he moved to Japan for his senior year, I sent him the clover to make it up to him.
I too was torn, but it meant so much more to him. I do think of it now on occasion, but I know it’s in good hands. He married my friend and they have 2 beautiful kids together. They are lovely, well-balanced people, so I don’t believe they needed any luck, but I’m happy to have given what I had.
As for my decluttering tricks, I do better pacing myself than going all out. I do go through phases of categories. I part with everything I’m ready to & then move on to another category. I may winnow further but I give myself time to sit with and reassess the reduced clutter.
This summer has largely been about books. Tackling all the books on my shelves that haven’t been read. Read & weed. If I love it, great, I’ll keep it. However, if I don’t, or don’t even feel strongly enough to read it, it goes.
Anne – What a beautiful story!
As my paternal grandparents got older, they started giving away their treasures to me and my sister (and others), so that we could enjoy them and they could enjoy us enjoying them. I felt almost dizzy the first time I gave away something I still valued, but it really was a spectacular joy. Now I love doing it!
Claire – Another great story!
I hear you on pacing yourself. I’d been doing it that way for a while. But it was fun going on a tear recently.
I’m back to the slow-’n'-steady, here & there kind of decluttering myself. Wins the race, etc.
Y’know, it’s funny because it occurred to me later that the clover came to me in much the same fashion I gave it away.
A new classmate at grad school found it, knew I carried a few things for luck, and gave it to me because it would mean more to me than her even though she didn’t know me well. For her the joy was in finding it and giving it to me.
Also interesting, at least to me, I don’t carry anything for luck anymore. Well except one keychain but I just like the dragon on it.
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