Dec 29, 2011 11

100 Things I Learned in 2011, Part 2 [50-for-50 edition]

You know what you learn when you do a review of the back half of a year in which you did a massive, 50-day-long fundraising thing-a-majiggy? That it takes WAY MORE than the actual 50 days to do it. Seriously. There’s a full six months of my life (and counting) that’s all 50-for-50! 50-for-50! 50-for-50!

So here’s a one-time-only, half-of-100-things list devoted (almost) exclusively to my biggest teacher ever.

In other non-news, good lord—no wonder I need a nap.

  1. “Possible” lives next door to “impossible.”
  2. Neither one can be routed on Google Maps.
  3. Goddamn right it takes a goddamn village.
  4. The “O” word isn’t as magical as the “S” word.
  5. Or the “P,” “A,” “G,” “M” and “B” words.
  6. Not to mention the “DLP” and “WCWW” words.
  7. But some of the biggest movers live quietly behind the scenes.
  8. Appliances don’t give a crap about deadlines.
  9. That goes double for #@$% hackers.
  10. $25 haircut isn’t as bad as you’d think.
  11. But it can’t touch a $50,000 one.
  12. Swears look better neatly stitched.
  13. Or covering your naughty bits.
  14. The breaks you think you can’t take are the most necessary.
  15. Flip-flops and street lamps don’t mix.
  16. Neither do shaved heads and anything loose and flowing.
  17. Unless you’re aiming for “Buddhist nun.”
  18. You really do lose 80% of your heat through your head.
  19. Banjo makes everything better.
  20. Self-deprecating humor doesn’t hurt, either.
  21. But I’m pretty sure puppies trump everything.
  22. Make time to shred.
  23. Before you shave, moisturize.
  24. After you shave, moisturize.
  25. Everyone loves a good cry.
  26. And a photobooth.
  27. And flan.
  28. Even the ones who don’t think they do.
  29. Recovery takes longer than you think.
  30. Definitely longer than the two weeks you’ve allotted on your calendar.
  31. Getting back to work doesn’t always involve work.
  32. Unless you count “play” as work.
  33. WHICH IT TOTALLY #!$&@ IS.
  34. So are massages.
  35. (I know, I know.)
  36. The first thing that goes is reading.
  37. The next thing is blogging.
  38. And finally, when you think it’s all over, newsletter-ing.
  39. Dating feels different on the other side of 50.
  40. And when the only hair color you can check is “None.”
  41. And you’re in no hurry to check any other box.
  42. We won (one category)We won (one category)!
  43. It feels good to be in GOOD.
  44. I finally know what the Facebook timeline is good for.
  45. Which means they’re bound to screw it up before December of 2012.
  46. People love a good story.
  47. With a happy ending.
  48. But watch out for those impromptu pig-whistling lessons.
  49. You can’t repay kindness.
  50. Pass it on.

See you next year!

2011

2010

2009

2008

2007

2006

2005

2004

Awesome hat a handmade gift of the awesome Sarah Clinton, community manager for the awesome Richmond Animal League. If you enjoyed this post, go make an end-of-year contribution to them! Or to WriteGirl! And buy yourself something from Amazon while you’re at it—that’ll help keep the lights on here. And hey, HAPPY NEW YEAR to you!

Posted in: The Personal Ones,The Silly Ones

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