Searches, we get searchesâ„¢: all-Google edition

searchesWherein the blogger, weary from a 12-hour day of hoisting a prop Betamax camera to her shoulder for repeated takes, leeches humor of off random Googlers who had the misfortune to land at using a Rube Goldberg's Wacky Machine how would you make a cup of coffee (Google)

Alarm clock shakes taut string > pulling spoon lever > springing superball loose > hitting ping-pong paddle > swatting cymbal-playing monkey > which wakes slumbering man > who hurls monkey against the wall, gets up and heads to Starbucks for a double-shot latté.

"toenail polish" "what is" "best color" (Google)

"personally" "I like" "a good orangey red"

"Sew your own Curtains" (Google)

Don't tell me what to do!

history of antifreeze,1936,sierra madre movie (Google)

Either I missed something in my last viewing or that's the multitasking-est surfer I've ever seen.

powerpoint colonoscopy jpeg (Google)

I don't know, but you've given me an idea for invigorating my moribund presentation graphics business...

meaning Colleen (Google)

My parents told me it meant "pretty girl," thus creating in me a lifelong distrust of authority and more neuroses than you can shake an ugly stick at.

Hunting the muse,Eharmony, (Google)

If you're seeking artistic inspiration on the two worst dating websites in existence, you have bigger problems than where your next great novel is coming from.

on being me (Google)

If you're trying to google your way to that, we're all lost...

xxx c