Who needs Jambi when you've got...THE AMAZING FACE ANALYZER?!?

Cw_jacket1_1Using only the professionally-taken photograph to the left, THE AMAZING FACE ANALYZER divined the following about the communicatrix...including that she is female:

Intelligence: 6.7  (Very Intelligent)
Risk: 2.7  (Very Low Risk)
Ambition: 6.7  (High Ambition)
Gay Factor: 1.4  (Very Low Gay Factor)
Honor: 4.2  (Average Honor)
Politeness: 5.7  (Average Politeness)
Income: 6.6   ($50,000 - $100,000)
Sociability: 4.0  (Low Sociability)
Promiscuity: 2.5  (Very Unpromiscuous)

Like the modest but apparently uptight genius who turned me on to THE AMAZING FACE ANALYZER (or ANALYSER, in the U.K.), I am a "Beta Academic" best suited to a number of careers which don't interest me in the least.

Of course when I saw that my celebrity face "match" was Anna Kournikova, I began thinking, "Hey! Maybe there's something to this here AMAZING FACE ANALYZER!" ...until I saw that it had also made out a tiny, dark-haired, Asian girl with a 1.0-gay-factor (that's lower that my incredibly low gay factor, folks!) as a dead ringer for... Ellen DeGeneres!

As an aside, I find it pretty hilarious that my own gay factor was so low, since I'm about as gay as May can get without actually batting for the other team.

And as for my lack of promiscuity, I think my sordid past (not to mention a goodly chunk of the L.A. phone book) might refute that notion, but hey, they are grading on a curve, here...


NOTE: For the heck of it, I also submitted my "badass business woman" and "quirky character gal" headshots (posted here) to see what the results might be. Dorothy Parker's observation notwithstanding, apparently all you have to do is throw on a pair of glasses and unbutton your shirt to have your income level plummet and drive your promiscuity quotient up a few notches. Oh, and did you know I was 98% Korean/Japanese and 2% Chinese? Me, neither!!!

And quirky character gal? She doesn't register at all, even as female. No wonder my commercial career is in the shitter...