Things I think the Los Angeles Municipal Traffic Court could still use a little work on after spending (almost) all day here:
- Stairs you can use during peak elevator time without setting off the alarms and being greeted at your destination by the L.A. County Sheriff's deputy.
- More elevators.
- Lots more electrical outlets.
- Definitely more Aquafina in the machine.
- Someplace you can actually get to on one of your allotted 20-minute breaks from the jurors' waiting room where they serve a decent cup of coffee. Like maybe a Starbucks in the lobby. Or, barring that...
- Those vibrating pagers they use at suburban franchise restaurants. The benefits of the electronic tether have been amply proved (proven?) in the private sector.
- Pay TV and free fucking WiFi*, not the other way around. Because hearing snippets of Regis & Kelly, Montel and I Wanna Be A Soap Star are not making my time go any faster. And subjecting me to that Judge Judy wannabe on Divorce Court is cruel and unusual punishment.
- Better instructional video. If cost is an issue, you could just run an old episode of Law & Order. We'll get the point and the production values are vastly superior. Remember, a happy juror is a fair and impartial juror!
- One of those lists like they used to send your mom before you went to camp stuck into your jury summons so you could come prepared. I mean, all I know is there are a lot more people lying around watching TV than there are Judge Hacketttttt fans. Trust me on this.
- Air-conditioning. That. Works. We live in a desert, people!
BONUS EXTRA: Actual judge who comes by to thank us for coming in = good. Actual judge who comes by and uses his meet-and-greet to pretend he is up doing five at the Improv = bad. We are not here of our own volition, sipping overpriced cocktails at the end of a long, working day and predisposed for a few laughs; as you pointed out in your hilarious set, we were SUBPOENAED!!!
And that's me, my civic duty (hopefully) done for one more year. (Heh heh heh...I said "duty"!)
*I mean, WTF? Four bucks an hour to jump on some crappy My First PC to surf? And I can't even use my thumb drive to transfer files? Who's got the franchise on this piece of pork?**
**BTW, I actually stuck this one in the suggestion box. So all you prospective jurors who have your free WiFi next month*** have me to thank.