It cost me $4 to blog this! (Part 2)

Things I think the Los Angeles Municipal Traffic Court could still use a little work on after spending (almost) all day here:

  1. Stairs you can use during peak elevator time without setting off the alarms and being greeted at your destination by the L.A. County Sheriff's deputy.
  2. More elevators.
  3. Lots more electrical outlets.
  4. Definitely more Aquafina in the machine.
  5. Someplace you can actually get to on one of your allotted 20-minute breaks from the jurors' waiting room where they serve a decent cup of coffee. Like maybe a Starbucks in the lobby. Or, barring that...
  6. Those vibrating pagers they use at suburban franchise restaurants. The benefits of the electronic tether have been amply proved (proven?) in the private sector.
  7. Pay TV and free fucking WiFi*, not the other way around. Because hearing snippets of Regis & Kelly, Montel and I Wanna Be A Soap Star are not making my time go any faster. And subjecting me to that Judge Judy wannabe on Divorce Court is cruel and unusual punishment.
  8. Better instructional video. If cost is an issue, you could just run an old episode of Law & Order. We'll get the point and the production values are vastly superior. Remember, a happy juror is a fair and impartial juror!
  9. One of those lists like they used to send your mom before you went to camp stuck into your jury summons so you could come prepared. I mean, all I know is there are a lot more people lying around watching TV than there are Judge Hacketttttt fans. Trust me on this.
  10. Air-conditioning. That. Works. We live in a desert, people!

And finally...

BONUS EXTRA: Actual judge who comes by to thank us for coming in = good. Actual judge who comes by and uses his meet-and-greet to pretend he is up doing five at the Improv = bad. We are not here of our own volition, sipping overpriced cocktails at the end of a long, working day and predisposed for a few laughs; as you pointed out in your hilarious set, we were SUBPOENAED!!!

And that's me, my civic duty (hopefully) done for one more year. (Heh heh heh...I said "duty"!)


*I mean, WTF? Four bucks an hour to jump on some crappy My First PC to surf? And I can't even use my thumb drive to transfer files? Who's got the franchise on this piece of pork?**

**BTW, I actually stuck this one in the suggestion box. So all you prospective jurors who have your free WiFi next month*** have me to thank.

***Bwahahahaha!!! Suckahs!!!