Searches, we get searchesâ„¢

searchesAn occasional feature that uses arcane references, impenetrable humor and the accumulated bile of hours and hours spent listening to reactionary talk radio to mock any poor sap unlucky enough to stumble on my speck of the web. argo starch handy hints for the home (Google)

Goddamn Heloise, always stealing my material.

watch a free clip of William Hung singing Shebang (Yahoo)

Wait, there are clips of William Hung someone pays to watch?

camels hump prednisone picture (AOL)

Those randy camels will go after anything that isn't nailed down.

crapping elephant clip (Google)

I think you do have to pay to see this one.

bad jesters coloring sheets free (Yahoo)

Rodeo clown modeling kits, however, very expensive.

Mr Potato Head Costume Sewing Pattern (Google)

Doesn't he have a hard time threading the machine with those big plastic hands?

"tight prom dress" (Google)

Duuuuude! I thought they busted up after the reunion tour.

punk pioneer demanded seven dwarfs (MSN)

Oh, yeah? Well, My Very Elegant Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Porcupines, muthafuckah!

business looking for shirts (Google)

Paging Sally Struthers...

is jiggy pen still in business? (Ask Jeeves)

Yes, but GetDownWithYourBadSelfâ„¢ notebooks went the way of New Coke and Mr T cereal.

xxx c