I, for one, am flummoxed. Also, baffled, perplexed, confounded, and generally mystified.
Of course, I'm not at all sure how much I learned from any of them, but oh, well—tomorrow is another year, right? Hahaha! Also, GET OFF MY LAWN. (If one does not earn the right to say that at 50, I hardly see the point of birthdays.)
Okay, then! Here we go...
- There's nothing better than doing work you love.
- Except getting paid for it.
- And possibly, being able to succinctly describe it.
- Pay for the nonstop flight.
- You will, anyway.
- Comedians make the best philosophers.
- But nerds make the funniest ones.
- Menopause is Latin for "You're never more than one marshmallow away from your fat pants."
- Balance is more of a journey than a destination.
- Writing better takes longer.
- But writing longer doesn't guarantee "better."
- Making it a miracle anything gets written, ever.
- Instagram won.
- For now.
- Fear does not disappear with experience.
- It does, however, don a series of increasingly exotic and beguiling outfits with which to confuse and/or bewitch one.
- Never underestimate the rejuvenating effect of punctuation.
- The shortest route between you and 6-year-old you is the Soap Lady.
- I still get distracted incredibly easil—holy crap, is that a new iPhone grocery app?
- Goals, like food, work better with portion control.
- And on smaller plates.
- Stories are my favorite "content".
- Times 3, times 365.
- The only thing better than going on hiatus may be coming off of it.
- That doesn't mean I don't want to do them both again.
- Just less far apart.
- It doesn't have to be human for you to Facebook-stalk it.
- I love weddings.
- Especially when they belong to other people.
- Or better yet, all the people.
- Portland is even better in the summer.
- And on foot.
- And when you improvise.
- Fear is my all-time muse di tutti muses.
- But I am envy's bitch.
- They should call it "Southwest Fairlines".
- "Together/single" is less "better/worse" than it is "apples/oranges".
- The quickest route to self-knowledge is a good interviewer.
- The only thing more fun than a Justin Tanner play is turning someone on to a Justin Tanner play.
- Or turning everyone on to a Justin Tanner aphorism.
- You can have too much of a good thing.
- Fortunately, someone is always making new good things.
- Unfortunately, that doesn't extend to everything.
- Roger Ebert's taste in movies extends to music videos.
- Thievery rocks.
- I have the world's worst gaydar.
- I'm not the only one fed up with the constant happy of Facebook.
- Not to mention those stupid inspirational quotes.
- But fixing the Internet is complicated.
- Fortunately, fixing your reactions to it is simple.
Look for Part II later this week! In the meantime, remembrances of years past: