Now, more than ever, you need to play :: Apr 2009

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Now, more than ever, you need to play

 

Volume 3, Number 04  |  April 2009

 

Since last month's issue, I've been to one walloping,  not-inexpensive, wholly elective, whiz-bang of a conference--South by Southwest Interactive--and if I have my way, I'll do a lot more so-called foolhardy things like that.

 

Why? Because while focused, nose-to-the-grindstone activity is necessary, and definitely produces results of a certain kind, the magic happens when you just let go.

 

I get that "letting go" is hardly the modus operandi du jour. When times get challenging (and boy howdy, do these ever qualify), many of us default to one of two modes that reside at opposite ends of the spectrum: overwork or checking out.

 

I know; I do it, too.

 

I also know that in either of those modes, my ability to connect effectively with other people--to express myself clearly, to stay open and sensitive to the nuances of expression that mean the difference between TALKING and UNDERSTANDING--is hampered. When I'm wound up in work mode or vegged out in escape mode, there's no room for the unquantifiable but undeniable excellence that can happen when I'm relaxed, refreshed and open, the way I was in Austin a few weeks ago.

 

Conversely, when I clear a little psychic and physical space for things to happen, I end up with the most rewarding meetings, the richest writing, the best performances (or, these days, speaking engagements). Preparation, groundwork, due diligence are all important, but they'll only take you so far: improv brings you the rest of the distance, and as any good musician or actor (or painter, or dancer, or thinker, or or or) will tell you, improv happens when you play.

 

Fair warning: this is a huge work-in-progress for me. I seem to be wired for work; a friend who pointed me towards the Enneagram correctly pegged me as a "3," which is basically shorthand for "Happiest When Working A** Off." Oh, well.

 

Because I am a "three," I have found both some ways to trick myself into playing, and ways to make a little room for the play itself.

 

1. Schedule a playdate from your list of same.

 

Oh, how embarrassing this one is. But it works. Somewhere in your life, there are a few people you really click with. You know: the kind where you pick up the phone to say "hi" and end up gabbing for two hours. I found myself avoiding picking up the phone to call certain people because I feared we wouldn't have time; now I schedule them in. Yes, phone calls.

 

If you can, try scheduling in a real, live, in-person date with one of those rejuvenating souls at least every three weeks. I have mine staggered: a breakfast every month or so with my Enneagram friend; EstroFest with my creative lady-circle (five years, going strong!); Houston's burger-and-veggie run with an old improv buddy every few months, etc.

 

2. Sign up for a class that has nothing (obvious) to do with work

 

The sneaky trick? Everything has to do with work in one way, especially if you're a creative type. (I'm always telling my actor pals to read up on kayaking if they want to learn about acting.) Answers often come to us when we're not actively working on them. A class in something else can loosen you up to do better work on your regular tasks.

 

And yes, money is an issue for everyone, especially these days. But via the magic of public libraries and rec centers, community colleges, adult night school, barter and the like, there's always a way. If things are really dire near you, check out a book or a video class on DVD from your library and DIY-it, alone or with a buddy.

 

3. 10 minutes per day of...

 

Yes, I've brought this up before, in the context of developing a new habit. But the beauty of the 10-minute time chunk is that even the most time-miserly among us is generally willing to cough up 10 minutes per day to do something extracurricular. 

 

If you've still got an iron grip on your own body and brain, consider devoting the mental space available during your ablutions, laundry-folding or other mindless-but-necessary tasks to daydreaming. If you ride public transit, put your earphones in but don't play your iPod. If you drive by yourself to work, turn off the radio and sing--either an existing song, one you make up as a parody lyric, or something completely original. Walking the dog is good free time, too. 

 

*****

 

I have a feeling we're all going to need as much play as possible in the months to come. If you have any great ways you've discovered to squeeze in play, or have discovered other great resources (my friend, Gretchen, has a website full of great tips on the subject), please let me know via email or the contact form, and I'll see about putting together some kind of permanent resource page.


Thanks, and stay loose, baby!

kisses! three of them!!!

colleen wainwright | communicatrix

(323) 634-9930

colleen@communicatrix.com

 

About page a mess? Ashamed to show that bio around town? Crashing and burning at the few interviews you're able to line up?

 

I can help get your written communications in order! Rent my big, fat, editorial/communicatrix-y brain and you'll not only end up with better stuff, you'll learn all my super-communicatrix-y secrets and become a better writer into the bargain. Let's put copywriters out of business! (Ha ha--just kidding, copywriters. You know I love you; I've told the world!)

 

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SITE OF THE MONTH

  Ask anyone who's anyone in White Hat Nerdville and they'll tell you: as more and more sources of information glut the stream, curation is the key to Internet survival. Good curators select the best of the best; subscribing to good streams of curation makes the web more enjoyable by introducing you to new things and reducing noise-to-signal ratio. While we're used to curators who add via commentary, some of the finest curation can involve nothing but great selection (a keen editorial eye and hand is cost-of-entry) and skillful juxtaposition. I became instantly obsessed with The New Shelton Wet/Dry blog because it does these both so well, and with a minimum of commentary. Witness the eclectic mix of topics gently bumping up against one another, the quotes alongside the text augmented with some jewel of unexpected illustration. Just be sure to set a timer for yourself: this is one long rabbit hole it's very easy to tumble into. (Thanks to @benkunz for the tip: he's a very good curator on Twitter of interesting news, links and items.)

 

  SANITY SAVER OF THE MONTH

There's nothing like spending some quantity time in the presence of others for making one appreciate the golden joys of solitude and silence. While we've instituted a strict "no music or YouTube while anyone is doing writing work" policy here Chez BF, it wasn't until I discovered the joys of white noise plus headphones that I was actually able to get serious writing work done. My favorite of the Internet sites that offer streaming white noise is iSerenity. You can get your peace and solitude in all kinds of flavors: my absolute fave-raves are the wind chimes (they remind me of peaceful walks through sunny beach towns) and "library" (which reminds me of...well, being in the library, minus the coughing and suchlike).
Highly recommended! 

  

  BOOK OF THE MONTH

  There are two chief stumbling blocks to helping people improve their communications skills: 1), no one likes to think they have a communications problems; and (2), most of the tools designed to help improve it are either out of the price range of most people (workshops and one-on-one coaching) or dreadfully tedious. There's not much I can do about #1, but as for the rest of it, I'm delighted to be able to point you towards a lively, funny, easy-to-read book by relationship coaches Pace and Kyeli Smith titled The Usual Error. Born out of workshops the longtime partners have been giving in Austin, TX, its foundational notion--that most of our communications difficulties spring from our assumptions that everyone thinks as we do--is illustrated in dozens of interesting, well-written examples (along with cute illustrations from wizard-with-a-pen Marty Whitmore). The book was written with the alternative community in mind, but pretty much anyone who has to talk or live or work with someone else (which is pretty much all of us) stands to get something out of it. And hey, you cheapskates! You can check out the content on their site, where they're releasing a chapter every Wednesday until the whole book is out. That's right, these ladies are serious about their bottom line: turning people into better communicators. Yee-hah!

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All content in this here newsletter is released under a Creative Commons by-NC-ND license.

 

That means you're free to share it, republish it, tattoo it on your butt, whatevs, PROVIDED you credit me (a link back to my site is fine), you don't change anything and you don't use it to make money.

 

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communicatrix | 137 N. Larchmont Blvd #604 | Los Angeles, CA 90004
TEL (323) 634-9930

©2009 Colleen Wainwright | Released under a Creative Commons by-NC-ND license


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