Reinventing yourself :: May 2009

There's no question about it: we're officially on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of change these days, with no end in sight.

As someone who has reinvented herself a few times, I find myself of two minds about this, one thinking "Huzzah!" and the other "What fresh hell is this?"

The excited part of me thrills to the idea of change and possibility, of getting deeper into the truth of my fabulosity (i.e., what the hell I'm here for) and pitching in during this grand and glorious opportunity to re-make the world into something better for all of us.

The not-so-excited part recoils as if said change was a mountain of freshly manufactured dog poop from which I am supposed to extract three pea-sized nuggets of gold. With a teaspoon. Okay, maybe I overstate it, but let's face it, there is a LOT of work that goes into conscious change, and not all of it is sunshine and roses.

Fortunately, you're not stuck with a teaspoon for a tool, nor is the task at hand really a mountain of you-know-what. There is some excavation involved, but it can be more fun and interesting than drear and frustration if you apply some fundamental principles.

1. Watch who you watch.

Acting legend Bette Davis was not the finest looking woman to hit the screen nor was she always the best actor up there. Yet when she comes onscreen, I defy you to look away; children and puppies couldn't steal her thunder.

I've already written about the phenomenon of what draws eyeballs for actors, but for those of you who don't indulge, I believe Miss Davis stole the show again and again because she was: (a) focused; (b) 100% true to who and what she was; (c) completely passionate about her work.

Putting aside performance, there are reinvention lessons to be learned from the "watch who you watch" model if you're willing to look for them (no pun intended!). Which blogs or newsletters do you turn to again and again? Which head shots always seem to draw you in? Whose branding makes you think, "I wish I could come up with that for me"? Literally, start a digital (with something like Evernote) or paper file and put stuff in it.

Two things will happen as you do this: first, you'll build a great "swipe file" of stuff from which to draw inspiration (and to get better help from a professional, should you go that route--it's one of my "homework" exercises for new clients); second, when you accumulate enough material, you'll start to see patterns emerging that give you greater insight into the core of your fabulosity (which makes change even easier in the future).

2. Fail incrementally...and fast.

Comics have the right idea about trying out new material: they continually fold bits of new stuff into the old act to see what flies without ditching the old stuff before they're sure.

Try small things and see how they go. If you're an actor shifting into a new type, this may mean a lot of head shots for a while. Fine! Do a "one look" session rather than a full-blown 3 - 5, and don't get them all printed. If you're a speaker, introduce the kernel of the new speech into an old one.

If you're shifting into a new business, try changing up one business offering: a new package, or a "trial version" of some of your services. Or float stuff out there in a low-to-no-cost way, via a blog or simple website for online businesses, or a "bake sale" for real-life products. (Lots of great advice along these lines for any business re-inventors in my friend, Pam Slim's new book, Escape from Cubicle Nation.)

3. Buddy up.
 
No matter how good you are at spotting, you simply cannot get enough distance to adequately see yourself. Coaches and consultants (well, the good ones) know this, which is why, despite making their living helping other people see stuff, they hire out people to help them do the same. Awesome destuckifier Havi Brooks does this all the time, which is why she's rarely, if ever, stuck. I have a coach and a shrink (as do my own coach and shrink), and I continually seek out programs like this Fire Starter workshop I'm taking next month.

If you can't afford hired help like me or Havi or Danielle, seek out people whom you think know something about the area you're looking to grow into and who will be objective, and put together a group. When money was tight, a few actor friends and I did our own on-camera cold-reading workshops. Similarly, when I was looking for help updating my look, I asked for help from my super-style-y friend, Dorie. L.A. designer Spencer Cross, runs a terrific mailing list for designers where people can get feedback on their work, just for the asking.

Create the network you need if it doesn't exist, even if you're already brilliant: Cliff Atkinson, arguably one of the savviest presentation experts around, decided to mount a PresentationCamp here in L.A. after attending one in San Francisco. If he can do that, surely you can get three friends together to form a re-branding support group!

Give yourself the gift of change, and the luxury of support in doing it right. It doesn't have to cost much, and the price of not changing is something you don't even want to consider.

Not if you're interested in changing the world...