Sticking it to yourself
Volume 4, Number 5 | May 2010
I am all for intrinsic motivation, which more and more research seems to point toward as the most compelling and reliable of moving-things-forward methodologies.
I am also a realist, and I accept that there are days—or even long, long stretches of days—when one needs an extrinsic
boost. Sometimes, it's to foil a particularly sly and nefarious block from the Resistor. Other times, it's to push past physical or emotional exhaustion (although, you know, go easy on that stuff).
There is also a whole other class of Stuff To Be Done which is either compulsory or salubrious (or both), but is either not interesting or not immediately and obviously connected to one's Big, Fat, Exciting Goal (or both). It varies from person to person—your mind-numbing task might well be my zen meditation—but can include everything from making the bed to balancing the checkbook to exercising.
There are other times, though, when I find my best friend is a stick, so to speak.
Using peer-based stick support
Nothing says "get up and exercise" like your running partner who managed to get her own butt out of bed at the crack of dawn. Exercise buddies are shame-based sticks wrapped in soft, friendly cotton, but sticks they are.
For me, so is The Specter of Wayne. A variation on the sponsor model that works so well for AA, my friend Wayne is my go-to check-in when I want to veer from my diet. Our deal is this: I can veer, but I have to do it in the open by calling (or texting, or emailing) Wayne. So far, I have not had to call (or text, or email) once. The mere specter of Wayne's silent disapproval is enough to stop me.
I'm also a testament to the power of Success Team. Lots of tough love means big support from this weekly mastermind-like group. There are only so many weeks in a row I can take of being the one who didn't get her to-dos done. Pro tip: This plus a carrot is a great combination.
In short: when in doubt, gather one or more like-minded people who will hold you accountable. The level of potential shame they will rouse in you for a job not done is up to you and your tolerance for social disapproval, but be honest: don't pick your fluffy-bunny friend when you need a saber-toothed tiger.
Other sticks that have worked and continue to do so, depending on the nature of the task at hand:
Consider it the work equivalent of having guests over to get yourself to finally clean the house: agree to give the speech, teach the class, submit the article, write the sketch, design the site. You'll figure it out as you go. We all do.
Financial incentives There is a grand tradition of promising to pay x sum--usually to a charity—if one does not accomplish a goal: quitting smoking, losing a certain amount of weight. My first-shrink-slash-astrologer finally got me to confront my mother about her alcoholism with a financial incentive (I had to pay twice if I didn't; I got a freebie if I did.) Money did in four days what a full year of jawing could not: got me off my butt and into action.
Variations on this include hiring a coach or trainer, paying for a class, or otherwise extending yourself financially toward your goal: making a non-refundable downpayment, etc.
By the way, much of the research on what really motivates us and how to activate it is handily available in two compelling books: The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle, which I reviewed on the blog, and Drive, by Daniel Pink, which I'm currently reading (thanks to my first-shrink-slash-astrologer) and will review shortly. If you know of other resources like these that I don't, please fill me in!
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WORKSHOP OF THE MONTH YEAR
I have been threatening to teach a class in writing for—well, never. I have never threatened to teach a class in writing; such a threat never even occurred to me. But that I have been badgered to teach a class in writing, and for some time, is quite true. It took two fine, freaky ladyfriends of mine from Austin to make it happen, but I will be teaching my first class ever this summer as part of the World-Changing Writing Workshop organized by Pace & Kyeli, of Freak Revolution fame. So even better than a class featuring yours truly, you get a riotously good lineup of writers, many of whom I've met in person (Chris Guillebeau! Danielle LaPorte! Jonathan Fields!) and all of whom are a-MAZING at what they do, including teaching other people how to do it. Chock full of exercises, downloads and bonuses, this is the one class to take if you want to take one class on writing. Crazy discount for signing up by this Friday, May 14. Go! Go! Go!
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
AUTHOR NOTES
OF THE MONTH
One of the most exciting things about any big museum retrospective of an artist is the inclusion of that artist's sketches, notes and other etudes in the show. I still remember the thrill I felt gazing at Ed Ruscha's notebooks at a MOCA retrospective (and the frustration of not being able to page through them). Like a well-edited collection of letters—Saul Bellows', for example (New Yorker, subscription required), they offer a glimpse into an artist's mind and process. These scans of marked-up books from the libraries of Mark Twain and David Foster Wallace offer similar glimpses into the artistic process. More importantly, seeing how an author reads critically gives insight into things you should look for in your own reading. (via Daniel Coyle)
DOCUMENTARY OF THE MONTH
Don't tell me Internet rabbit holes can't turn up great stuff. One that I stumbled down this past month led me to American Prince, a fascinating early documentary by Martin Scorcese about his friend (and raconteur supreme), Steven Prince. You may recognize Prince from his memorable cameo as the guns salesman in Taxi Driver, but believe me, that little bit of acting is just the tip of the Prince iceberg. I won't spoil the surprises embedded in many of Prince's true and amazing tales except to say that you will instantly recognize at least one of them a tale co-opted for a very famous Tarantino film of the '90s. The documentary is extraordinarily entertaining not only because Prince is a colorful character, but because he's a colorful character who can tell the heck out of a story.
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