A former partner used to hammer me on the subject of children and the importance of family with the warning that if I chose not to have the former and spend a lot of time with the latter, I would end up alone—and, by extension, miserable.

While the game is (I hope) far from over, I’m fairly sure he was wrong. There is something to be said for blood being thicker than water, but spending a shitload of Sundays splashing around in the gene pool ain’t necessarily the answer to the question of happiness; spending time and effort building relationships built upon a foundation of truth and mutual respect probably is. I live a life resplendent with love, friendship and joy thanks to the many who sign on every day with their heads and hearts, regardless of shared DNA.

Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against children and family; they’re just not top priorities for me. Or, if you like, I’m not judging—”I’m just sayin’,” as the kids say*.

What has always been top priority for me is seeking truth. For whatever reason, I need copious amounts of alone time to do it, so spawning and/or adopting would be irresponsible. My only regret is that it took me so long to see this and put a name to it. I caused a lot of people unnecessary pain because I was such a clueless doofus. If any of you are reading this now, I apologize.

My wish for everyone is to find the thing that truly makes you tick and run with it. Reorganize your life around it. Make no apologies for it. Make no excuses for staying away from it.

But along with it, consider cultivating an understanding and appreciation for the choices you didn’t make, and some understanding for the people who did. If you have questions about how they live their lives, perhaps mull them over to yourself before shouting about it from the rooftops or your AM radio show.

Some of us really need the peace and quiet…

xxx
c

*Although having seen the impact of high population on our tiny earth, I’d feel better if some people weren’t reproducing with such zeal.

Photo by rbaez via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license

TOPICS: 21 day salutes, Cheering the Hell Up™, child-free, children, choice, communicatrix, life.

Okay, that’s not exactly how I feel. And I’m not an advocate of stirring up trouble—really.

Hell, I barely have any family left to throw up against the metaphorical wall, anyway. Alcoholism, workaholism and ridiculous squabbling over money have reduced my once-vast clan to a small (but fantastic, generous and hardy) few (for whom I am extremely grateful, thankyouverymuch).

Plus, because of our family dispersal pattern, I’m celebrating this holiday with a few geographically (and otherwise) desirable friends who are as whack-job liberal as I am, so I don’t anticipate any need for backup.

But Atrios has such a great post on how to deal with, um, non-likeminded relatives of the loud and/or bellicose variety that I had to hook y’alls up with the link.

And I’m copping his fantastic strategy for dealing with the choice issue for my non-holiday use, as well:

(Additional note: If the issue of abortion comes up I’m at the ready with a line of question I’ve had some recent successes with: Ask them to guess where the US ranks in infant mortality rate. Tell them Sweden, with the lowest infant mortality rate, ranks #1. Press them to guess where the US falls after that. Really, get their best guess. The correct and highly embarasing answer for these self-rightious, Holier Then Thou, save the babies at all costs crusaders is . . . 41st. Cuba has a lower infant mortality rate. Let them chew on that.)

Woo-hoo! An abortion post on Thanksgiving!

Happy-happy, everyone!

xxx
c

TOPICS: abortion, choice, fundamentalism, holidays, Rants, religion.