Alex Shalman has a lovely and ambitious project going on over at his eponymous personal development site this month. He got an impressive cross-section of people to answer a simple, five-question interview on their own feelings re: happiness, and aggregated the answers, along with some other various & sundry information, on his eponymous blog.

There are some big names on the list—800 lb self-dev gorilla, Steve Pavlina; 800 lb biz/self-dev gorilla, Tim Ferris (the 4-Hour Workweek guy); and 800 lb social media/self-dev gorilla (and my pal!) Chris Brogan.

What’s neat, though, is that not all the entries are from what would explicitly call the self-dev blogging pool. And their interviews are at just as fascinating and illuminating—BoingBoing co-founder, Mark Frauenfelder and Brian “Copyblogger” Clark turned in wonderful takes that owed as much to tight writing as right perspective.

Not that there’s a wrong perspective when it comes to happiness. The proof is in the pudding, and while the new, positive psychology has gone a long way towards illuminating certain consistent traits found in the happy person, ultimately, it’s a pretty personal pursuit. Another internet friend of mine, Gretchen Rubin, studied happiness for a year, turning herself into a lab for the experiment, much in the way I try to do with communicatrix; it was no surprise to me that her interview was one of the best of the bunch.

Of course, I’ve dwelved into and on happiness here, as well as created my one-and-only Squidoo lens on the subject. But Alex is welcoming submissions, and I think it’s good exercise to wrap my head around other people’s questions now and again. So here are the five questions, along with my answers. If you’d like to do a little thinking and sharing, too, you can either grab the list and post to your site (don’t forget to link back to Alex!) or write out your thoughts in the comments section of his post.

Either way, to borrow from one entrant, so much more happiness-inducing, to focus on the positive than its musty, sad sack cousin, Mr. Boo-hoo-hoo.

The Questions

1. How do you define happiness?

First off, to differentiate Happiness with a Capital “H” from the fleeting kind of woo-hoo! happiness, I like the phrase “deep contentment” or “private joy.” I mean, I don’t actually like these more—I’d have to be an utter asshole, as “happiness” is way pithier—but the word been been co-opted by too many hair care products to be truly useful anymore.

And to me, Happiness with a Capital “H” is either or both of those things: an abiding inner peace that’s matched by a sort of “thrum” in the heart area. Making me the world’s biggest cornball, I know.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?

Until age 10, 8 or 9. From 10 - 40, around 4 or 5.

Today, praise jeebus, I’m back up to around 8 or 9. And plan on keeping it that way!

3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)

It’s not anything in particular, but an aggregate of right thoughts and right actions. To put it in Stephen Covey terms (I’m heavily into the 7 Habits right now), when I spend most of my time in quadrant 2 with a wee sprinkling of time in quadrant 4, I’m good. I need my quadrant 4; I’ve just got to be diligent about not spending too much time hiding there. (Here’s the time management matrix for those of you who have yet to drink the Kool-Aid; I know, I know—I’m on the tail end of this curve.)

Oh, and a little one-on-one time with Arnie will snap me back into shape if I veer too far off course. It’s good to have a short list of non-prescription mood enhancers for when Monkey Brain takes over.

4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?

As soon as I move off of what I have and onto what I don’t, I’m tobogganing down the icy slopes of Mt. Misery. You can pick up serious speed on that sucker.

Fortunately, a quick adjustment—looking at the myriad riches of my life—usually gets me back pretty quickly. That, or remembering the days of my colon being a greased and bloody chute.

5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?

Committing to a life of greater service. Sharing more of what I know. Letting go of things that hold me back, and ceaselessly working to identify new outliers.

And treating myself to lots more walks with Arnie, of course…

xxx
c

Image by carf via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

TOPICS: happiness, memes.

This comes to me via my pal, Jeremy Cherfas. I admit to being completely befuddled when I first looked over the questions. Then bummed.

And then, I figured out what to do with it…

1. What’s in your pocket?

Left rear: a rectangle of vivid orange velvet, trimmed for me from a larger rectangle of same by a small fry of great passion, kindness and unbridled creativity.

Right rear: One each of the “communicatrix.com” and “clever monkey, inc.” cards I had printed up for SXSW last year, deposited there by aforementioned small fry.

Great meme-responding requires a delicate mix of wit, bravado and truthiness. This response has none of those; all but the most diehard readers of this blog will hightail it out of here after reading this first response.

2. Is the pork ready?

If it’s been cooking in the gravy for a minimum of eight hours, yes.

Right away, we see the the author of this meme is either: (a) non-American; (b) trying to out-smartypants his respondents; (c) all of the above. Note to would-be meme crafters: attempt (c) at your own peril. You will almost certainly fail, either at propagating your meme on a broad scale with the many, or out-smartypants-ing the few.

3. Have you ever had to rock to and fro to make your poopie go?

Yes. Apparently, the constipated are as likely to develop Crohn’s as the loose-poopeys.

After reading this question, I am fairly certain of the meme’s provenance. The question, while not particularly clever, feels steeped in foreign idiom. The best way to handle memes like this, should your colloquialisms not align with those of the meme-writer, is to mainly take things at face value, then look for an opening.

4. Do you like onions?

Yes. Unfortunately, the feeling is most decidedly not mutual.

While awaiting an opening, try to maintain a good ratio of wit to truthiness.

5. So, how big is it?

Big enough to know better.

See above. This is a sass-based answer, although not smart enough to turn off a reader who’s made it this far.

6. Budweiser or real beer?

No beer on SCD.

Another excellent function that memes provide is the chance for internal links. Also, in my case, I never met a platform I couldn’t turn into a soapbox.

7. What do you feel about your nose?

It’s less what I feel about mine, than what I do about other people’s—namely, how the hell do most of you breathe out of those pinholes?

Remember, a good part of truthiness is deflection. This is not untrue, but it not the full (and boring) truth. For posts about my nose in full, stay tuned to this blog channel.

8. Children: Baked or broiled?

Yes.

With memes, as with all lists, the better part of excellence is often restraint. Mix your longs with your shorts, people—your longs with your shorts…

9. Do you like it when I do this?

Depends on my mood. I’m a mystery wrapped in a goddamn enigma.

There are a good deal of perverts in the intertubes. If you don’t believe me, feel free to browse some of the search strings that brought people here. A firm hand is a lady’s best friend. Don’t give the pervs an inch. (Cf #7 re: deflection)

10. Do you like the sound of chickens?

As an enlightened person, I prefer the sound of “womens”.

This is one of those Dennis Miller lines. Hope both of you liked it.

11. Would Beyonce clip her own toenails?

If what…she had hands? If her hands were broken and she could only use her teeth? If someone stole her clippers and she had to use two toothpicks and a piece of string? How can I be expected to answer these incomplete questions?!?

Not a bad question, but this is where we separate the meme-boys from the meme-men, as it were. Seize every opportunity to grab the reins.

12. Do you like pork?

Yes. You want go at it now?

For example, when the bar is (supposedly) raised by this second pork question, it’s important to establish superiority. Resist the urge to build on your previous pork answer. Sharp left turn. Comedy is the unexpected meeting the ill-prepared. Or something like that.

13. If the butter is soft, does the bus arrive on time?

Wait—is this some foreign meme?!?

With memes, as with most interactions, timing is everything. Note how I bided my time, waiting for the right opening? NOTE: another nice way to deal with this is to drop a hint-joke in early and do a callback later on. In this case, since the first indication that this might be a foreign meme was rather oblique, I opted to wait.

14. When do you get up?

When I’m stiff from sitting.

Filler answer. Pacing, remember?

15. How did you survive childhood?

By hanging on with all my might to the occasional glimpses I got of me as an adult, free of them all.

If you want to make a serious point, it’s almost always best to slip it in amongst a lot of silliness. That way, it will both be more effective, and more deniable.

16. What do you do before bed?

Indulge in some sort of media input.

Pacing, again. Think of certain of your answers as sorbet courses in between the saucy richness.

17. What are your hidden charges?

All fees negotiated up front and signed off on by both parties.

Ramping back up to something racier.

18. Who’s behind you?

Those on the Side of Right, Jesus, and elite team of venture capitalists. (Duh.)

Bang! Even slipped in a Jeebus crack!

19. Why don’t people go to the bathroom on TV?

It shorts the circuitry.

Everyone loves a little potty joke. I skipped the obvious one, on poop, above. You do want to play to your audience a bit, though.

20. What’s a soylent green popsicle?

Whoville-illians.

Rule #407: Obscure must be met by more obscure.

21. What does it taste like?

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

Rule #408: Everyone likes a follow-up joke.

22. Why doesn’t Consumer Reports rate hookers?

No balls. (Get it? No balls!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

If you don’t see the joke immediately, come back to it. I couldn’t see the obvious joke right away as I was too close to this. The Consumer Reports part, not the hooker part. Animals….

23. Does George Bush replace the toilet paper tube?

When my super-Christian, ultra-capitalist, uber-Republican father met with GWB back in the late ’90s to discuss running his ad campaign for the first election, I braced myself for the worst. But Dad turned down the gig, noting that dude was a wrong guy—the kind of person “who probably pulled the wings off flies when he was a kid.”

He leaves those two last sheets that are stuck on with glue, drinks the last of the mild and puts it back and doesn’t redeposit the balled-up Kleenexes that glance off the rim back onto the floor. An entitled putz, we have for a president.

Save up your stories—you never know when they’ll come in handy. Opportunity comes in strange guises…

xxx
c

P.S. While I thank Jeremy for the opportunity, I’m afraid this meme comes here to die. I have absolutely no idea who to tag who wouldn’t come back an kill me in the night.

Image by via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license. Pass it on…

TOPICS: communicatrix, List-o-rama!, memes, meta.

What do I love after I’ve been sucked dry and spit out by a 21-Day Salute™? I loves me a meme!

Like the title sez, 8 utterly random facts about the communicatrix:

1. The first “rock” concert I went to was Sonny & Cher.

2. The, um, second “rock” concert I went to was also Sonny & Cher.

3. When I first started elementary school, someone got the bright idea I should be moved up a grade. But I hated the second graders so much I cried until the nuns let me go back to first. My promotion lasted a total of three hours, and started me off on a lifetime of manipulation through deviosity.

4. I lived in a bubble of privileged belovedness that was forever rent when I attended Cimarroncita Ranch Camp in Taos, New Mexico, during the summer between seventh and eighth grade. My very good friend of seven years, Alexis LeBlanc*, washed her hands of me at some point when the train that brought us from Chicago passed through Texas and her “real” friends—the ones who’d been going to CRC since they were wee tykes—got on. From that point on, I was openly reviled, mocked and tortured until my return home, the nadir of my experience being the ingestion of FOUR!!! COUNT ‘EM! FOUR!!! squares of Ex-Lax™, administered under highly false pretenses. I and my colon, temporarily renamed “the greased chute”, spent 24 hours in the infirmary, and after a good talking-to, the girls dialed down the hatred to a simmering-but-dormant “yellow alert” status.

I would like to say I told Alexis LeBlanc to eff off and that I have never been mean since, but in truth, while I never trusted her again, I hewed to the old “keep your enemies closer” line when it came to Lexy**. And was slightly less mean where the rubber met the road.

5. My favorite thing in the whole, wide, wonderful world is to make someone laugh who’s not given to it.

6. If I am in a deep funk, nothing sets me to rights like a viewing of Car Wash, The Magnificent Seven or Superstar.

7. I have had sex here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

8. I have been driving around for over two months with 30 lbs. of unused fabric I’ve been meaning to donate to my costume designer friend, Ann Closs-Farley, and I’m hoping this meme shames me into actually unloading it from my car.

Thank you, Rob Kendt. And now, it’s time for these eight merry reindeer to chime in…

• Bonnie Gillespie
• Dave Greten
• Chris Glass
• Anne Sertich
• Danny Miller
• Neil Kramer
• Jenny Amadeo
• Brandon Rogers (that’s right, motherf*cker—go find a guest blog spot to kill off this damned meme)

xxx
c

*Not her real name
**Not her real nickname

Image of me, circa 1974, along with my five merry Torquemadas and the adult who was supposedly in charge of preventing this kind of Animal Farm-foolery

TOPICS: communicatrix, List-o-rama!, memes.

It’s not often I get tagged for memes of a business nature. But spiritual business coach par excellence, Mark Silver, saw through my fluffy exterior and knew I’d have something to add to the best productivity tips in all the land, the rapidly escalating group effort to corral the best of entrepreneurial wisdom by my former Great Big Small Business Show collaborator, Ben Yoskovitz. So here goes nothin’…

You don’t have to explain the beauty of a project like this to a listmaker. We revel in lists: the how-to, to-do, tip-mad fests that other people put together. We live for memes, boy howdy.

What intrigued me most about this exercise was the one limitation placed on those of us who saw fit to pick up the gauntlet: Challenge yourself to pick one. Because, of course, the delicious truth is, while there are many excellent “hacks” to improve productivity, my number one tip is to choose the one that works for you.

Yup—that’s it…suckers.

No, seriously, it’s deceptively simple, for it means spending some time identifying what’s tripping me up at any given moment. And yes, it also means I need to reassess from time to time, because my barriers to productivity shift, as well. What trips me up Monday—lack of sleep, say, or needing an injection of Karin’s fun after a weekend of too much work and not enough play—may not be the issue on Tuesday, when I’ll about needing to do some of the “sprints” that Dawud Miracle mentions, or Hump Day, when I’d give my right arm for some of Monk-at-Work Adam Kayce’s clarity.

Of course, I won’t cop out there; I’ll play nice and share One Great Thing I’ve found that’s been working for me lately. (Which I know—I know—makes this post technically about two tips, but my #1 tip is so meta, it makes my head swim.)

Are you ready for this life-changing, earth-shattering Tip of Tips?

Keep things tidy.

Yes, literally by keeping my desk clear—or at least, of all jobs but the one I have going right that second—and my surroundings neat and the dishes done and every other stupid, mundane thing my Swedish grandmother told me mattered back in 1964, when I got fobbed off on her during my parents’ second honeymoon, actually makes a difference.

Hi-Baby, the CEO. Who knew?

xxx
c

P.S. They may have been tagged already—this meme’s been bubbling for a few days—but I’m tagging:

• Ilise Benun (because coaches always have the best tips)
• Scott Ginsburg (because that whippersnapper has output that puts people twice his age to shame)
• Rebecca Morgan (because to keep so many plates spinning, she must be a productivity guru)
• Bonnie Gillespie (because girlfriend could write four books on productivity in the time it took me to write this), and…
• Danny Miller (mainly because I don’t think anyone ever asks him any business-y questions either, but even if he knows nothing about productivity—which I’m sure ain’t so—he is one of my all-time favorite writers)

Image by mer incognito via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

TOPICS: memes, productivity, tips.

I think this is the first time I’ve been tagged for one of those meme thingys. (Thanks, Jessica. No, really—thanks a lot: I had completely lost the will to blog, and you’ve jogged me out of it, which in addition to being really cool, also rhymes.)

I have participated in memes, back before I understood blogging protocol forbade participation sans tagging, but they don’t count then, do they?

Even if this is not the first time I’ve been tagged, I’m sure this is the first one I found out about, and that only thanks to Google alerts—I’m afraid I’ve been as terrible at keeping up with the rest of you as I’ve been with keeping the blog.

At any rate, this ain’t no easy meme for a tell-it-all blabbermouth like me. The whole point of communicatrix, The Blog—and I know, some of you are shaking your heads slowly in disbelief that there actually is a point—is to lay my truth out there in the wee, vain hope that it might help someone else find his. Or, for those of you who stare your damn truth in the face 24/7/365 (366 on leap year), that I might make you laugh and forget it for a few moments.

My point is, what haven’t I told you people? Seriously. Sure, there are a (very) few items which must needs remain unspoken for modesty’s sake—other people’s modesty, not my own. (As if!) But stay that way they must. And I’m sure there are thousands of items which are eminently share-worthy, only I can’t think of them now that I’m put on the spot. So if these five seem lame—well, blame it on the excessive drinking and drug-taking of my early years. Or my current years. The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be.

1. I have not balanced my checkbook in over 15 years.
2. My favorite food is stone crab with butter.
3. I am terrified to spend the night at The BF’s when he is not here.
4. I have parachuted out of an airplane. Twice.
5. I fold my underwear.

God. I am even more simultaneously boring and weird than I thought I was.

xxx
c

P.S. Since you’re supposed to tag someone, I’m tagging Erik—partly because he is my favorite new blogger of 2006 so far*, partly because he shares my love of lists, and partly just because!

*The BF may start a blog before January and his children descend upon us, so I reserve my final vote for Favorite Blog until December 31 at 11:59pm. After that, Erik, it’s all you…

UPDATE: Apparently, I was tagged by Tim Donnelly, over to the Aquent blog, a day after posting this here thing here. Which means (a) I am much beloved even if (b) I am not much read. (Giant aside: can I have your job when you tire of it, please?)
Photo by marjo0o via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

TOPICS: communicatrix, List-o-rama!, memes.