Blow up your TV
When you calibrate your afternoon
not by the subtle changes
in the play of light
through your office window
but by the shifting
of the shrill Judge Judy
into the ’shucks, ma’am’ sucker punch
or Dr. Phil…
When you feel your ire rise
as basket-base-football
cuts into The Simpsons
and back-to-back repeats
of King of the Hill…
When your evenings are filled
with the wall-to-wall hum
of America’s Next Top Apprentice to the Surviving Bachelor
When you have seen every episode of every Law & Order
in all three franchises
at least twice
When you can spot the new edits
to accommodate additional commercials
in Columbo
and the Quinn-Martin ouevre
and anything that used to be on HBO
When you let your sister
and your clients
and your best friend since high school
(in town for three days only)
go straight to voicemail
because Ryan is announcing the Bottom Three
When you cannot remember the last time
you spent a day
without television
Maybe it’s time
to spend a day
without television.
Maybe it’s time
to spend seven of them.
A whole week
doing something else
One day at a time. (With Bonnie Franklin and Valerie Bertinelli.)
Besides—
there’s always
TiVO…
xxx
c
