Barack at the bottom of the ninth

obama in santa barbara I usually post something a little earlier of a Monday.

(I usually post something of a Friday, too, but last week, I was out there honing my speaking skills, and had no time.)

But today, my internet was down from 10:30 am until recently, about 10:30 pm, or 12 hours. An eternity for a nerd like me.

That's what these past 8 years have been like: an eternity for a nerd like me. A nerd who still dreams of change so momentous, the whole world sits up and takes notice. And changes. A nerd who, despite loving many peoples of this great, wonderful world, still holds a quaint, nerdly belief that there is goodness in the original concept of this, our America. A nerd who believes in sharing her toys, sitting at the communal table, reaching out to the less fortunate, and feeling to the edges of every cell the great fortune she already has.

The years of great health care, though now they seem numbered.

The freedom to express myself freely, without fear of reprisal.

The ability to determine how I want to live, and where, and with whom.

I am also honored to be living in a time where the top two contenders for the Democratic nomination for the highest elected seat in this country are a man of color and a woman. I am terrified that people still fear these two things too much to see clearly, and also that perhaps some people who hold out hope for change will try to outguess the fearful, voting for the candidate who can win instead of the candidate they believe in. I am afraid, yes, afraid, that many will vote with their heads and not their hearts tomorrow.

I get it; I do. Just like I get how huge huge huge it is that a woman, a WOMAN, for GOD'S SAKE, has made it this far. It doesn't matter that sometime around the time I was 10 or 11, they amended it to "a land where any boy or girl can grow up to be president." It still feels impossible and wonderful and huge.

No matter who makes it on Super-Dee-Duper Tuesday, I'll put my weight behind him/her in November. But tomorrow, I will be casting my vote for Obama. Because he was never for this war that I have, from before the beginning, been horrified by. Because he is an outsider, but an outsider who has stumbled and fallen and picked himself up and learned from the fall. Because should he make it to the White House, we will send an unmistakable message to the rest of the world: we're sorry. We're done. It's over, and we're setting a new course.

Because goddammit, I'd like to be able to visit the rest of the world without having to apologize for my fellow countrypersons.

I hope you will vote for Barack Obama. But mostly, I hope you will vote. A strong showing, period, will mean almost as much as a strong showing for him.

You. Me. This America.

For the love of all that don't have what you have yet, care...the right to marry a loved pursue say what happens within their own bodies, vote.



xxx c

Image by montauk beach via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.