Selling My Crap on eBay, Day 10: Snotty ladies, part one

This is Day 10 of a 21-day series. For more scoop on the who/what/why, go here.

Once upon a time, on the shores of a great lake in the center-right of a large country, there lived a tiny Jewish-Catholic principessa.

The only grandchild of two doting grandparents who had waited far, far too long for her arrival, she was indulged in myriad ways with all sorts of riches. They dreamed up delectable treats to tempt her finicky tastes. They amused her with small gifts and family trinkets, each of which came with its own set of stories, told and told again, to the tiny princess' delight. They regaled her with tales of their glamorous past from days gone by. They took her on outings to ride wild pandas and shop for charming dresses and books. They indulged her budding interest in the intersection of art and commerce.

But her favorite pastime of all was a game the grandfather dreamt up in a particularly inspired fit of genius, called "Snotty Ladies."

In this game, the princess and her handmaiden would dress themselves in the grandmother's finery, and be served high tea by the grandmother and grandfather, whom they called "Maid!" and "Butler!," respectively (and repeatedly, to the delight of all parties concerned.) The outfits were made particularly fine by the addition of specially chosen accessories from the grandfather's prized collection of rare walking sticks, the choicest of which were the gold-tipped ebony stick (see tomorrow's entry) and the "naked lady cane," which was actually not a cane at all, but a swagger stick, a short stick meant to be carried under the arm while reviewing the troops.

the author demonstrates the proper way to hold a swagger stick

The game of Snotty Ladies now lives on, strangely enough, in the very empowering tradition of the Women's Business Socials, a ladies-only networking group founded by Ms. Jodi Womack of Ojai, California. Over a year ago, in early 2009, Ms. Womack approached the author looking for a clever tagline to accompany the stylized drawing of an haute, remote looking lady advertising the very first Women's Social; yours truly told her the story of the principessa's girlhood game, and suggested the line, "Snotty Ladies Not Allowed." Eventually, around the time that the chic Ojai Valley Inn & Spa created the namesake WBS drink, the line morphed to "Snooty Ladies," as everyone allowed that snot and drinks do not mix particularly well, but the fusion had happened.

a swagger stick with a naked lady on the handly

Now, it's time to release the stick into the wild, and let our Naked Lady find her next adventure. Will you lead her there? Email the 'tater (miz.tater AT gmail DOT com) and let's work this out, shall we?