In the theater world, the last week of rehearsals before a show goes up is affectionately known as "Hell Week." The 99¢-show sports an unusual Hell Week because a holiday is wedged in there; in honor of that, the cast has been given an entire two days, both Wednesday and Thursday, off before final dress rehearsal on Friday. So in my capacity as Chief Stilt-Walker, I have been given a two-day respite to let those newly-developed leg muscles rest.
Of course, in my capacity as graphic designer, I am forced to rest aforementioned muscles next to the old G5, which does not allow for much in the way of elevation.
But I digress.
While this is an unusal Hell Week in that it's slightly less, well...hellish, there are still certain die-hard traits that all Hell Weeks share. To wit...
- You can neither remember the last day you went to the gym nor anticipate the next time you will see the inside of it.
- You find yourself actually drifting off to sleep atop the stilts you just learned to walk on two days ago.
- Instead of being outraged that the 7-11 is charging you 2 bucks for an airline-sized bag of cashews, you are filled with a Thanksgiving-level of gratitude that they accept Visa because you have not had time to go to the ATM in two weeks. And buy two bags.
- Bourbon and cashews at midnight is dinner.
- Bourbon and cashews at midnight is the most delicious and appropriate dinner you can imagine.
- You can neither remember the last time you washed your hair nor anticipate the next time you will be able to do so.
- You try to drive your car in "park."
- Your kitchen floor is covered in hair.
- This seems like no good reason to not eat the veggie burger you dropped there.
- Your sexual fantasies start revolving around long hot baths with a fluffy magazine, followed by a mug of peppermint tea and a DVD in bed. Solo.
Time to get crackin' on those t-shirt designs. See you at the show, kids!