As most of you know, I'm off the dating train, too far off to write a book or a blog that would be of use, and yet I cannot stand for my hard-won knowledge to go unused.
So when I came across this random list in my mini-purge-fest, I figured that at the very least, I could slap it into a blog post without looking ridiculous.
There are whole books, nay, shelves upon shelves of books these days, you can read on the topic of dating. If you're looking for more, I'd suggest If the Buddha Dated. (There's some good advice in He's Just Not That Into You, too, but it's mostly in the title, with a few extra tips easily extracted in a half-hour, in-store read.)
Okay, on with the list.
The communicatrix's Top 10 Tips for Dating If You're Doing It to Find a Happy and Successful Relationship (as opposed to just sex, which is also great)
- Never date anyone better looking than you are.
- This goes double if you are a chick.
- Character is revealed in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone, and does not change.
- If someone tells you he's crazy, he is.
- If someone tells you he doesn't think he ever wants to get married, he doesn't.
- If the sex is sporadic in the first six months, it will never be plentiful.
- You cannot change how a person kisses.
- Under no circumstances should you move in with a person before you've known them for at least one year.
- Better to make it two.
- And wait at least one more to get engaged.
Remember: you may need to switch up your shampoos until you find one that leaves your hair shiny and manageable. Once you do, I advocate cultivating brand loyalty.