100 Things I Learned in 2006, Part I

In what has become sort of a tradition here at communicatrix, we bring you the year in reverse...or perverse...or something like that. Because after all, what is the point of having a whole, entire year if you can't heave it up at the end and enjoy it again from the beginning?

  1. I could live happily elsewhere.
  2. I probably won't anytime soon.
  3. Deadwood is the best cocksucking sonofabitch show ever.
  4. Coaching works.
  5. Lawns are overrated.
  6. The bargain matinée at the Century City 15 rules.
  7. If you want people to become really alarmed on your behalf, tell them you're planning to shave your head.
  8. I love the acorn squash at Houston's with a fervor that borders on the unnatural.
  9. Good coffee mugs are as hard to find as good handbags and unicorns.
  10. I enjoy looking anyway.
  11. All of those people who said I would outgrow my lust for high heeled footwear were right.
  12. Damn them.
  13. Rolos will be the television of 2007.
  14. If forced to come up with an earthly description of heaven, I'd pick flashlights, a slow shutter and good company on a starlit deck.
  15. A well-cooked pot roast runs a close second.
  16. Especially when it is cooked for you, with love, on a chilly Sunday evening.
  17. Toastmasters is the shit.
  18. UPS is apparently an acronym for Unflaggingly Poor Shipping.
  19. There may be something to this whole networking thing.
  20. Ditto conferences.
  21. I have a little problem recognizing the obvious.
  22. When playing games with children under 12, you have to let them win occasionally.
  23. Even if you don't want to.
  24. Which I never do.
  25. Noise is to me as dust was to Julianne Moore in that Todd Haynes movie.
  26. It is worth it to pay the extra freight for heavy card stock.
  27. Those cherry Larabars are really, really good.
  28. Eventually, if you eat enough of them, they taste like soylent green.
  29. I absolutely, positively love getting up in front of a bunch of people and talking.
  30. Acting, not so much.
  31. Just because you paid a crapload of money for a couch is no reason to keep it around.
  32. Alison Bechdel is a genius.
  33. My jealous streak, while lying dormant for years at a time, is capable of erupting at a moment's notice.
  34. Fortunately, it now scares the bejeezus out of me.
  35. My parking luck will never catch up to my used leather jacket luck.
  36. I like the idea of being a gardener better than the actual gardening.
  37. My significant others will always be somewhat horrified by the rest of the club.
  38. Being disorganized is my spiritual governor the way Crohn's is my physical one.
  39. Starbucks sucks.
  40. Its suckage increases in direct proportion to the distance between it and other coffee alternatives.
  41. This makes it suckier beyond suckiest suckiness.
  42. Forget the hounds, release the fleas.
  43. With the right partner, sex actually gets better after the 18-month mark.
  44. This gives me hitherto unimaginable hope for the future.
  45. If things continue in the current direction, I may drive less than 6,000 miles next year.
  46. The Wall Street Journal is a surprisingly engaging read.
  47. You can still recycle VHS tapes.
  48. I don't look quite as butch with short hair as I thought I would.
  49. The BF looks even better with long hair than I thought he would.
  50. Fucker.

xxx c

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