The Quotidian Ones

Play Misty for Me...RIGHT THIS @#%$! MINUTE!!!!

misty There is something about this time of year that, even if she really, really likes winter holidays and cooler weather, can bring an up dude down.

And that's where I am, down. Or down-ish. Not so far down as I was pre-Arnie, certainly, but hey...getting up from down is a process. (So is learning that "up" is not better than "down," but that is a post for the Half-Assed Buddhist to tackle, and thus far, he has refused to take up the blogging cause.)

To cope with it all, in the grand tradition of Mom's side of the family, I self-medicate. Unlike several of them who are no longer with us because of it, I try not to turn exclusively to my pal, Dr. Al Key Hall, for solutions. Instead, I mix it up: a little sugar, a little caffeine, a lot of long/hot showers, some escapist reading and, my all-time favorite, the cheesy movie. When the skies or my mood darkens too early or often, I watch movies, lots and lots of movies, most of them familiar to me already, and of a decidedly unchallenging nature, thematically.

My current go-to drug of choice is a great, old Clint Eastwood flick, Play Misty for Me. It has everything I love: the Central Coast of California (comfort location); a 1970s setting (comfort decade); an absorbing but not overly complex story structure (gently-engaged-but-not-overtaxed brain); enough dialogue to serve as company (comfort movies play in the background, usually); and a connection to my childhood (Dad loved Clint and worked with him later in life, so I feel like Clint is kind of the good, Hollywood version of my dad.)

I never really understood why people owned movies until I stopped watching television. Now, I get it: for the company. For the comfort. For the little respite, that brief trip in the Wayback Machine that takes you away from it all in a way Calgon can't. It's not just about watching Clint narrowly escape the clutches of the mad (but ultimately, sad) Evelyn Draper for the 20 or 30th time (Jessica Walter in a tentpole performance, the movie would sink without her); it's about going back to a time that felt safer, or at least less complicated. It's about having a Dad and not being the elder yourself. It's about a world that was less crowded, less noisy, less dangerous and at the same time more exotic, or at least, one that seemed that way from my 10-year-old vantage point.

That's really what it is, of course. It's about being 10 again, and everything being 10 meant: safety. Security. Years and years before I had to worry about what I was going to be and how I'd take care of myself when I was alone and it was dark.

Yes, at the risk of being completely morbid on the threshold of this happy holiday season, my love for this nutty old film is about being farther from death, so far as to have zero acquaintance with it. And what's even crazier than that is the whole reason I appreciate holidays and loved ones and the combination of the two is that I have a far keener appreciation for their being here at all. Once you've lost, you can't help but treasure what's left all the more.

I will, of course, listen to a few carols over these next several weeks. (How can you not? Isn't it mandatory at this point? Take off your shoes and overcoat, empty your pockets, and listen to goddam Christmas carols.) I'll even partake in some holiday...er...stuff. Parties and gifting and whatnot. In moderation, Christmastime can be quite pleasant.

But you'll excuse me if, at some point in the middle of the festivities, I slip off by myself to my home and, well, a neat single-malt and Clint in the DVD drive. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

And this girl needs a quick trip up the coast in an old Jaguar with a jazz radio deejay.

xxx c

UPDATE (11/29/08): For more on this suspense masterpiece, I direct you to the site of one Joe Valdez, who writes a film blog that is hands-down my new-favorite obsession/timesuck.

The third anniversary is leather

leather Three years ago today. Hard to believe that much time has passed.

Also hard to look at some of the old passages. It is definitely true, that old saw about writing writing writing to find your voice.

Thank you for sticking it out with me these past 36 months. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Hope you won't, either.

Or if you do, that you'll come back.

More fun and games in store, starting tomorrow...

xxx c

Image by peevee@ds via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

If you can't develop yourself via at least one of these sites, there's no hope for you

grow Thank you, Priscilla, for starting it. Thank you, Adam, for adding me.

This is already such a comprehensive list, it's tough coming up with more names. But I'll throw in...

...and after the kisses, the list!

xxx c

Image by pbo31 via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Aaron Potts at Today is That Day

Adam Alexander at Adam’s Peace

Adam Kayce at Monk at Work

Adam Khoo at Adam Khoo’s Philosophies and Investing Insights

AgentSully at Life Learning Today

April Groves at Making Life Work For You

Argancel at C’eclair (for those who speak french)

Ash aka Mr. Biggs at One Powerful Word

Al at 7pproductions.com

Alan Torres at Made to Be Great

Alex Shalman at AlexShalman.com

Alexander Kjerulf at The Chief Happiness Officer

Alexys Fairfield at Unraveling The Spiritual Mystique

Albert Foong at urbanmonk.net

Alvaro at Sharp Brains Blog

Amber at Random Mangus

Amie Ragan at Psychology of Clutter

Amy Hedin at There is no Maximum to Human Potential

Andrea Learned at Learned on Women

Andrea J. Lee at Money, Meaning, and Beyond

Andy Wibbels at AndyWibbels.com

Anita Pathik Law at Power of four Way

Anmol Mehta at AnmolMetha.com

Anna Farmery at The Engaging Brand

Antonio Thornton at AntonioThornton.com

Ariane Benefit at Neat & Simple Living

Ask Lucid at Ask Lucid Spiritual Development

Barb Melloh at The Law of Attraction Info

Barbara Sliter at Creatorship

Belle Wong at Abundance Journal

Ben Yoskovitz of Instigator Blog

Bill Perry at Lucid Blog

Billy Smith at The Organic Leadership Blog

Blogfuse at LifeDev

Brad Isaac at Achieve It

Brian Clark at Copyblogger

Brian Kim at briankim.net

Brian Lee at geniustypes.com

Brooke at Plain Advice

Bob at everyeveryminute

Bolly at Motivational Corner

Cam Beck at ChaosScenario

Cara Lumen at The Success Magnets With Cara Luman and Your Second Wind Blog

Carlon Haas at Possess Less Exist More

Cheif Family Officer at Cheif Family Officer

Chris Brogan of ChrisBrogan-dot-com

Chris Cree at SuccessCREEations

Chris Marshall at Martial Development

Chris Melton at Soupornuts.com

Chris Owen at Pink Apple

Christine Kane at ChristineKane.com

Christine Valters Painter at Abbey of the Arts

Clyde at Feeling Good

Colin Beavan at No Impact Man

Colleen Wainwright of Communicatrix

Conceive, Believe, Achieve at Conceive, Believe, Achieve

Crabby McSlacker at Cranky Fitness

Craig Harper at Motivational Speaker

Curt Rosengren at Occupational Adventure

Cyres at Cyres Matters

Damian Carr at Soul Terminal

Daniel Sitter at Idea Sellers

Darren Rowse at Problogger.net

Dave Pollard of How to Save the World (walks the talk)

Dave Schawbel at The Personal Branding Blog

Dave Schoof at Engaging the Disquiet

Davers at Language Trainers Blog

David Allen at The David Allen Company

David Bohl at Reflections on Balance

David Fitch at David Fitch.com

David Richeson at 360 Degree Success

David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence

David Seah at David Seah.com

David Zinger at Slacker Manager

Dawud Miracle at dmiracle.com

Dean Lacono at Law of Attraction for Beginners

Debbie Call at Spirit In Gear

Debbie LaChusa at 10 Step Marketing Collection

Debra Moorhead at Debra Moorhead.com

Denise Mosawi at Destineering.com

Des Walsh at Thinking Home Business

Devlyn Steele at Tools To Life Guide

Dick Richards at Come Gather Round

Dominic Tay at Personal Development for Winners

Don Simkovich at Hey Don

Donald Latumahina at Life Optimizer

Donna Karlin at Perspectives

Donna Steinhorn at Rethinking

Douglas Eby at Talent Development Resources

Dr. Charles Parker at The Core Psych Blog

Dr. Hal at Northstar Mental fitness blog

Drew Rozell at Drew Rozell.com

Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity

Edward Mills at Evolving Times

Ellen Weber at Brain Based Business

Emily G. W. Lilly at The Science of Waldorf Education

Emmanuel Lopez at The Adventures of Motivatorman

Ellesse at Goal Setting College

Elly Jolly at Jolly Life Coaching

Enoch Tan at Mind Reality

Eric Napier at Quotation Collection

Erin Pavlina at Erin Pavlina.com

Evelyn Rodriguez of Crossroads Dispatches

Frank Kanu at Frank Uncovers Excellence in Leadership

Frank Roche at KnowHR Blog

Galba Bright at Tune Up Your EQ

Garr Reynolds at Presentation Zen

Gary at Personal Strategic Plan

Gilad Buchman at Sigsug

Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas

Grayson at Modern Worker Blog

Greg Butler at holistic-personal-development.com

Greg Frost at ChargedAudio.com

Geoff R at Gearfire.net

Gretchen Rubin at Happiness Project

Gustav at Success-is-in-you.com

Guy Kawasaki at How to Change the World

Gyanish at Diethack

Halina Goldstein at The Inner Travel Journal

Hilda Carroll at Living Out Loud

Heather Goldsmith at A Creative Journal

Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog

Honman at Open Your Mind to Prosperity

Inkedmn at The Cranking Widgets Blog

Isabella Mori at MoriTherapy

Itzy Sabo at Email Overloaded

Jacklyn Ker at Inspiring and Empowing Lives

Jarle Husefest at The Personal Development Blog

Jason and Michael at Black Belt Productivity

Jason Ivers at A Miracle a Day

Jason Womack at Fit and Effective

Jay White at dumb little man tips for life

Jean Browman at Transforming Stress Into Power and Cheerful Monk

Jeannette Maw at Good Vibe Coaching

Jeanie Marshall at Empowerment and Meditation Blog and DailyAffirm: Positive Affirmations Day by Day

Jeff Lilly at Druid Journal

Jeffrey Phillips at Think Faster

Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness

Jennifer Mannion at Heal Pain Naturally

Jenny and Erin at Jenny and Erin

Jeremiah Owyang at Web Strategy by Jeremiah

Jerry Hart at Blue Print to emarketing

Jerry Lopper at Personal Growth

Jessa at clairvoyantGuidance.net

Jessica Hagy at Indexed

Jim stroup at Managing Leadership

Jim Walton at Black In Business

JoLynn Braley at The Fit Shack

Joan Schramm at Accelerating Momentum

Joanna Young at Coaching Wizardry

Joanne at I’m Happy Fish

JodeeB at You Already Know This Stuff

Joe Vitale at Dr. Joe Vitale at Zero

John Pratt at John Pratt International

John Place at John Place Online

John W. McKenna at The Leadership Epidemic

John Wesley at Pick The Brain

Jon at Join The Secret

Jonathan at Smart Wealthy Rich and Freelance Folder

Jory Des Jardin at Pause: Meaningful Work

Josh Bickford at Reach For Magnificence and Reach for Magnificence

Josh Kaufman at The Personal MBA

Judy Martin at The Work/Life Monitor

Julia Rogers Hamrick at Julia’s Blog: Journal of the Journey Home to Eden

Julie Bonner at Declutter It

Kailani at An Island Review

Kammie Kobyleski at Passion Meets Purpose

Karen at Journey with Water Learner

Karen Lynch at Live The Power

Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space

Karl Moore at Karl Blog.com

Karl Staib at Karl Staib.com

Kathy Mallary at Coaching Biz Tips

Keith Ferrazzi at Never Eat Alone

Kenton Whitman at kentonwhitman.com

Kevin Kinchen at Creative Power of Thought

Killeris at Attitude, The Ultimate Power

Kim and Jason at Escape Adulthood

Kim George at Doing What You Can Do

Kimber Chin of Client K

Kirk Nugent at Kirk Nugent.com

Kirsten Harrell at Ipopin

Krishna De at Biz Growth News and Todays Women in Business

K.L. Masina at Be Conscious Now

Leah Maclean at Working Solo

Laura Young at The Dragon Slayer’s Guide to Life

Lee Nutter at bmindful

Leo Babauta at Zen Habits

Life Reflection at Universe in a Single Atom

Linda Salazar at Awaken The Genie Within

Lisa Braithwaite at Speak Schmeak

Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life

Lisa Van Allen at Finish Strong

Liz at Internet Marketing Strategies

Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Lodewijkvdb at How to be an Original

Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development

Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living

Luciano Passuello at Litemind.com

Lucid at Spiritual Suggestions

Lumosity at Brain Health Blog

Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life

Lyndon Antcliff at LyndonAntcliff.com and Cornwallseo.com

MT at MindTWEAKS

Maddy at Illuminated Minds Want to Know

Malathy Badri at Laws of Universe

Manny at Success Books

Maria Gajewski at Never The Same River Twice

Maria Garcia at Get Organized Now

Maria Palma at The Good Life

Marianne Williamson at Journal

Mark at The Naked Soul

Mark Forster at Get Everything Done

Mark LaPierre at The Winding Path

Mark McManus at Build Your Life To Order

Mark W Shead at Productivity 501

Martin Avis at Kickstart Daily

Mary K at Becoming Your StellarSelf

Matthew Cornell at Matt’s Idea Blog

Meg Haworth at Life Lessons From Your Soul

Melanie Benson Strick at The Success Blog

Merlin Mann at 43 Folders

Michelle at aMusing My Genius

Michelle Moore at Happiness Blog

Michael Port at The Think Big Revolution

Michael Vanderdonk at TOACH Performance

Mike Janssen at Opgestroopte Mouwen

Mike Kemski at BANABU

Mike St. Pierre at The Daily Saint

Millionaire Mommy Next Door at Millionaire Mommy Next Door

Mona Grayson at Question The Mind

Mr.Wang at Mr Wang Says So

My Everyday Planner at My Everyday Planner

Nancy Mills at The Spirited Woman

Nancy Tierney at Unconditional Confidence

Neil Patel at Quick Sprout

Nic Askew at Monday 9AM Blog

Nick Smith at Life 2.0

Nneka at Balanced Life Center

Organize-It at Organize-It

Pamala Slim at Escape From Cubicle Nation

Pamm Larry at My Spiritual Dance

Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker

Patti Digh at 37 Days

Paul at Paul’s Tips

Paul Piotrowski at Self Help Wisdom

Paula Kawal at Paula Kawal.com

Peggy Payne at Peggy Payne’s Boldness Blog

Peter at I Will Change Your Life

Peter Aldin at Great Circle

Peter Haslem at Necessary Skills

Phil Gerbyshak at Make It Great

Philippe Matthews at Shockwealth

Priscilla Palmer at Personal Development Demands Success

Quint Jensen at Win Your Mind

Raymond Salas at Zenchill Powertools

Real Modern Man at Real Modern Man

Reg Adkins at ElementalTruths

Ricardo at Wake Up Tiger

Rich Schefren at Strategic Profits

Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness

Rick Cooper at The PDA Pro

Ririan at Ririanproject

Rob at 7Breaths

Rob Cooke at Leave the Office

Robert at Compassionate Council

Robert at Myselfdev

Robert Ashcroft at PDSS Online

Robin Skeen at Robin’s Reflections

Robin Yapp at Yapp 3.0

Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz

Roger Von Oech at Creative Think

Rolf F. Katzenberger at Evomend

Rosa Say at Managing With Aloha Coaching

Ryan Marle at The Alpha Project

S.J. Yee at Personal Development for the Book Smart

Sam at Aquire Wisdom and Live with Passion

Scott Adams at The Dilbert Blog

Scott Berkun at Berkun Blog

Scott Bernadot at Keeping The Secret

Scott Ginsberg at Hello, My Name Is Blog

Scott H Young at Scott H Young

Scott McArthur at McArthur’s Rant

Self Pursuit at Self Pursuit

Senia at Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching

Seth Godin at Seth’s Blog

Shane Navratil at Zoomstart

Shauna Arthurs at Breathing Prosperity and Follow Your Path

Shaheen Lakhan at GNIF Brain Blogger

Simone at Dynamic Living

Simone and Mandy at Outfit Inspirations

Slade Roberson at Shift Your Spirits and Spiritual Blogging

Sleeping Dude at How to Wake Up Early

Sonora Jayne Case at Positive Realities Coaching

Spike at Organize It

Start Up Coach at Take Charge of Your Life

Stephanie and Jeffrey at Brains on Purpose

Steve Beisheim at Jumping Ship Happens

Steve King at The Green Geek

Steve Olson at Steve-Olson.com

Steve Pavlina at stevepavlina.com

Steve Roesler at All Things Workplace

Stephen at HD bizblog

Stephen Hopson at Adversity University

Steven Aitchison at Change Your Thoughts

Success Current at SuccessCurrent.com

Surjit at Gurushabad

Susan Sabo at Productivity Cafe

Suzanne Bird-Harris at Learning Curve Coaching

Takuin Minamoto at Takuin.com

Ted Demopoulos at Blogging For Business

Terry Starbucker at Ramblings From a Glass Half Full

Thom Quinn at Qlog

Tiffany at Little Red Suit

Tim Ferris at 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog

Tim Taylor at My Agapic Life

Tom Peters at Tom Peters.com

Tom Spanton at TRCoach

Tom Van Brunscot of Transformation Economy

Tony Chimento at Living Forward

Tony D Clark at Success From The Nest

Torlink at You Create Reality

Travis A. Sinquefield at Disorganizational Behavior

Travis Wright at Cultivate Greatness

Trizoko at Trizoko.com

Trevor Gay at Simplicity is the Key

Troy Worman at Orbit Now!

Tuck Self at Rebel Belle Blog

Tupelo Kenyon at Tupelokenyon.com

Ubertech at Geeks Guide To GTD

Vera Nadine at Vera Nadine.com

Vickie at Contemplate This

Wade Millican at The Middle Way

Wally Bock at Three Star Leadership

Wan Qi at Meditation Forum Mantras

Wild Bill at Passionate Blogger

and these collaborated sites:

Burst Blog

Change This

Change Your Thinking

Daily PlanIt

Did I Get Things Done

GTD Wannabe

Jobman2

Joyful Jubilant Learning

Life Coaches Blog Stratagies for a Greater Life

Lifehack.org

Lifehacker.com

TED Blog

Transformational Girlfriends

Unclutterer

Here I go, shooting my big mouth off again

me at Subject Line Here Believe it or not, it's been over a year since I've been on a stage. Yup, one whole year (and a summer) since Shane Nickerson organized the first L.A. blogger performance thingy I'd ever heard of, "Subject Line Here."

Since then, Leah Peterson of LeahPeah has taken on the heinous task of riding nerd herd patrol. I was unable to attend the first gathering of L.A. Bloggers Live! because I was busy being inducted as Chief Nerd, but--gawd help us all--I'm doing this one. (I have no idea what I'm doing yet, but oh, well!)

Here's the line up as of now:

Tomorrow, Wednesday the 22nd, at Tangier. 4 bucks cheep. Be there or be square.

Oh, wait, if you're reading this, you probably already are...

xxx c

,

What we learn from the mundane

,

how to spend a sick day The Great Hypnotherapy Project will be slightly delayed owing to the unexpectedly protracted illness of the guinea pig.

It's probably to the benefit of the project. This bout of whatever has left me more like a real guinea pig: gentle and slow moving, with a soft, soft underbelly in need of protection. Fewer barriers to break down, fewer gates to storm. Purged of the vices one is allowed to accumulate when one is higher up in the food chain. Vices are bad for self-development, right?

The funny thing was, there were parts of this illness I enjoyed. A week ago tonight, I was almost merry as I drove to pick up my Tom Yum Goong and other assorted verboten treats. Workaholics don't take vacations; we get sick, and watch our DVDs and take our hot baths and eat our comfort food.

Only this cold wouldn't go away when I wanted it to. So I pushed it aside for a few hours on Thursday night to get inducted as Chief Nerd at my Toastmasters club, and became twice as ill as punishment, even, in an ironic touch, losing my voice for two full days.

I finally gave in Friday night. If there is was a 12-step program for control freaks, I gave myself up to it, admitting myself powerlessness in the face of the Illness' grip on me. I cried in the shower even, bargaining with God to give me back my voice. I would redouble my efforts to use it for the powers of good, not evil. There are no atheists in foxholes and 95ºF apartments, it would seem.

I'm better today. Foggy, but better. I see some light at the end of this tunnel, faint, but it's there. It will probably be a week of nothing much and not too often. But I have promised two medium-sized children that I will see them again before they toddle back to the Midwest for the rest of their summer. And so I will be better soon.

In fact, I feel better already...

xxx c

Image by ratterrell via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

The Life, Death and Rebirth of a theater company: a brief History and Cautionary Tale

ER new

  1. small but passionate band of artists form company in 1995
  2. entire company sucks it up/busts hump to help build amazing reputation/following
  3. reputation/following grows
  4. reputation/following grows
  5. reputation/following grows
  6. heartless capitalist landlord gives band of artists the heave-ho
  7. awesome (loaded) members of company contribute huge sums of money, buying the theater a home to live in
  8. awesome (not-loaded) member of company contributes huge amounts of sweat equity and genius to create sterling reputation in local theater community to raise the theater's profile
  9. entire company sucks it up/busts hump to help build amazing reputation/following
  10. reputation/following grows
  11. reputation/following grows
  12. reputation/following grows
  13. grumbling in the ranks about too much sucking it up/hump-busting, particularly as regards being cast in plays
  14. outright denial of unfair treatment by management
  15. miscommunication builds
  16. miscommunication builds
  17. miscommunication builds
  18. sides are taken
  19. loaded members take ball and go home
  20. not-loaded members take mailing list and go live out of (metaphorical) shopping cart
  21. website mysteriously vanishes
  22. former member/webmistress/general design lackey comes out of hiding to save "vanished" website, purchasing new URL, redirecting to new server
  23. former member/webmistress/general design lackey, peeved over having to spend time needlessly recreating work because of childish vendetta, propagates new URL all over the intertubes to get Google rank back up, then shamelessly requests others to come to her aid and do same

xxx c

P.S. The new home of the ER online is evidenceroomtheater.com. Pass it on...

Illustration Friday - Suit

suit I have not yet got the hang of this Illustration Friday thing.

Apparently, you IMMEDIATELY draw the topic when it's announced on Friday, then upload as soon as possible so that everyone sees your thumbnail first. (Non-competitive and non-judgmental, my Aunt Fanny....)

So it is too late to submit my entry under last week's topic, "Suit".

But it is never too late to start drawing. Or thinking, for that matter.

Next week's topic: "Rejection".

After 10 years of acting and 45 of living, how hard can that be?

xxx c

That's "REVEREND communicatrix" to you

Reverend Colleen

The BF's brother (aka, "TBFB") proposed to The BF's brother's Lovely Girlfriend (aka, "TBFBLG") a few months back and, glory be, she accepted.

And so, barring any objections from the kingpins of SLO County, I expect to officiate my first wedding ceremony this October, on the breezy shores of my favorite place in the world.

Time to start putting my nerdmasters membership to good use...

xxx
c

P.S. If you're interested in joining the faithful, so you, too, can marry people up, check out my church, Universal Life.

I WON! I won I won I won I won I WON!

for bean mama Here's the contest.

Here's what I won it with.

Why the excitement, you might well ask?

Well...

  1. as I told the fair (pun intended) contest holder, I have not won anything since Michelle Glatzer and I called in to WLS our freshman year and won The Beach Boys' Endless Summer
  2. exactly

So I have no idea what the prize is, but I don't really care. I met The Driver of This Fare City at TequilaCon07PacNW and she is a crafty type so I know it will be most excellent. But that's really beside the point. Because the point?

IWONIWONIWONIWON!!!

xxx c

Image by shaletann via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license

No, really, what's your story? (A solicition or an opportunity...or both)

whisper I've been working on a super-secret web project for an interesting, celebrity client who is using her high profile in the real world for, as I like to say, the powers of Good and not Evil, something I always try to support here at communicatrix-dot-com.

Hell, that's kind of my modus operandi for life in general.

Anyway, eventually, everyone and his brother will be able to participate just by going to a good, old-fashioned URL. But for launch, we want to have some coolio stuff ready to go. I told my client that I have the most interesting, fearless readers in the world, and hey, counting the readers of readers, that's probably close to true, so I'd put the word out here.

We're still working out the copyright issue, because ultimately, there may be enough cool stories to warrant a compilation in book form, which she'd like to be able to do. But for now, let's say that there will be a rider there where you can opt-in if you'd like to be included in the book, and opt-out if, for some reason, you wouldn't. Either way, everyone retains copyright of his or her material, meaning you're free to do whatever the hell else you want with it.

In other words, she ain't looking to get rich off us chumps; she's doing fine in that department. She's just really, really into stories.

And that's what the site is about: everyone's stories. Because as someone who's walked longtime amongst the rich and famous (and the starving artists and regular people before then), she knows that "famous" does not necessarily mean "has better story."

So here are the topics she's looking for essays on now:

  1. "Most inexplicable fling or crush" (you know, that one you're, like, WHAT THE HELL?!?! after it passes)
  2. "New passions or obsessions, however fleeting" (she mentioned a new and strange love of watching Sunday golf on TV, even though she hates golf and has no desire to learn to play)
  3. "Regrets" (big, little, whatever)
  4. "Most memorable high school dance" (could be prom...although not for me...)
  5. "In what ways are you a weenie" (uh...yeah. 500 words probably isn't enough for me)
  6. UPDATE: "Favorite space you've ever lived in, and why"

Each story should be on ONE of the topics (i.e., don't combine your crush with your prom story, or at least not as though people will get that there is more than one topic; each story should stand alone).

Also, if you want to play, they should be:

  • around 500 words, max
  • personal (i.e., about your experience)
  • p0rn-free (or really, really hilarious)

Other than that, she's wide open. Site should go live June 1, god willin' and the creek don't rise. If you're totally freaked by sending your precious words to me like this, I can give you more details, but you'll be sworn to secrecy and if you blab, you will be SO uninvited to my birthday party.

E-MAIL STORIES TO ME, PLEASE, AT communicatrix-at-gmail-dot-com

Let's say by...May 18. (Don't want to drive the developer batty, esp. since he's The BF.)

Don't worry if you're a great writer, a medium writer, or not-a writer. Although I believe there's no such thing: we're all storytellers somehow, and if you don't believe me, you don't listen to StoryCorps enough.

Or read this blog enough, for that matter...

xxx c

Image by grana (aka. crazypuccia) via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Good news, bad news and 25% more communicatrix

good news bad news I've been AWOL, I know, with both good and bad reasons.

First, the good. I saw Uma for the first time in weeks and she is doing so amazingly, astonishingly well, I almost did a cartwheel. It is good that I restrained myself, as people might then have to visit me in the hospital, and I think we have all had quite enough of THAT lately. She looks healthy and robust, she's talking, she's reading, she's hanging out, she's getting her words back, in short, she is well on her way to being 100% pre-trauma Uma, which is fantastic news, no matter how you slice it. I floated on air for the next two days...

...at which point I crashed, hard, just like my poor, poor hard drive. I've finally learned my lesson: I already have a bootable clone of my backup computer, and tomorrow, as soon as the Apple store opens, I'm getting two more backup drives. One will be a bootable clone of the G5, the other will just be Insane Colleen's Redundant Copy to keep offsite. Because I never, ever want to spend three whole days restoring my data again.

And for those of you Mac-heads who have yet to get smart, may I just say "DiskWarrior" and "SuperDuper." Saved my bacon. Mac tech, alas, did nothing...again. Total waste of time. Five hours of time.

Oh, and for those of you I'm supposed to do something with in the next four weeks, if we made plans to do so in the past eight weeks, I'm apologizing in advance if I don't show up, all my calendar data since the last backup is gone with the wind.

Finally, an announcement I've been waiting to make for a month: my NEW NEW NEW newsletter launches this week! Chock full of life-changing secrets, money-saving tips, winning lottery numbers, Furry pr0n and tasty recipes using common, everyday laundry products!

Actually, it's just one solid article on communicating, writing, self-expression, etc, and some mini-reviews of cool stuff, for now. I'm trying to be more disciplined in this vehicle, since I tend to meander on the blog. (And intend to keep doing so!) You can sign up by clicking on the gigundus banner to the right or right here. No spam, ever, I promise. Knowing me, I probably won't even use it to try and sell you anything, I'm such an old hippie.

xxx c

Image by carolitajohnson via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

She who will not be ignored

book I'm all for blogs, clearly.

But there is, when all is said and done, something about a book. You can bring a book on a train! You can read it in bed or on the couch or in the tub. You can love it up and pass it along. And while I'm delighted when people find my online presence, and even more delighted when they pass it along, it's just not the same. I can't, you know, sign it with a Sharpie or anything.

Besides, this is not some short-time romance. As a girl, I'd always imagined the books I'd write someday as my offspring. I could see them in my mind's eye far more clearly than I could some bucket of DNA with a pink or blue bib around its neck. So despite all the very smart things my pal, Michael Blowhard, has to say about the folly of book writing, I'm down with it. Or up for it. Or whatever it is the kids aren't saying these days.

I have no delusions about the wild fame or fortune that will be mine when I corral the genius that is communicatrix into a 6"x9" stack of dead tree guts. It's a foregone conclusion that I'll be self-publishing, via Lulu, perhaps, or, if I'm feeling particularly daring, ordering up a stack to keep in my garage. Which, since I don't have a real garage, would be my living room.

I spent my weekend among a small sample of the millions who believe they have a book, or two, or seven, in them. Sitting amongst them, I'm even more certain: both of the pointlessness of my writing a book and the absolute necessity of it...

xxx c

Image by Cade via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

the communicatrix elsewhere: pride, the bitch goddess

draak sessie 4 iii As Professor Tom Leykis says, I can advise on mistakes because I've made almost all of them.

One of my big lessons this spin around seems to be about ego: specifically, keeping it the hell out of the way. Pride has kept me in more foolish situations for more years than it's comfortable to remember, and frustrated more personal and business relationships than I could list.

I decided to write about pride in this month's acting column because it's a particularly sticky wicket for performers, who have to have a certain amount of it to get up in front of everyone else and shake what their mama gave them, but only just so much and not a bit more, or they will be slapped down especially mercilessly. (In case you hadn't noticed, people can be particularly cruel to performers (or, as The BF calls them, "Celebrities: Our Most Precious National Resource.")

Follow the link, and lemme know what you think.

xxx c

Read "Don't Let Pride Kill Your Career: The Four Traps to Watch Out for If You Want to Go the Distance" in The Networker, on LAcasting.com.

Image by bruno tessa via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Portland, 10; communicatrix, 0

rudolph the white stag reindeer I came, I saw, I got conquered.

Seriously, Portland kicked my everlovin' city-girl ass. It's green, it's filled with books and really good coffee, the neighborhoods are adorable without tipping over into twee and, joy of joys, it's schlub-friendly. I mean, I love New York and L.A. and London and Paris and Rome and lots of other fancy-schmancy places, but I feel at home in places like Chicago and Ithaca and San Simeon and Austin and Bloomington, places with a little less gloss and a little more underarm stubble. Provided, you know, there's good food and wine and such. Which Portland has in spades, along with old buildings, trees and (woohoo!) free WiFi in the airport.

TequilaCon was fun, too. I'm really glad that I'd already met Neil and Sophia and Jenny and DeeDee, since there were so many new faces and I tend to get a little shy around new faces. And exhausted, did I mention exhausted? The BF and I had to call it a night way before (apparently) it was actually a night. Meeting a whole slew of new people is tiring for an introvert, even when the people are very, very nice. And while our TCPacNW07 venue, The Kennedy School, was every bit as fabulous as promised (and more!), old people like me need places to sit where we can hear the young people talk or we start to lose it. (Although I did not actually "lose it," unlike some other poor soul on the McMenamin's patio, thanks principally to the ninja drinkers' one-two practice of Pacing Oneself and Never Mixing.)

But it was delightful finally meeting some of my longtime blog crushes, and getting exposed (literally!) to a slew of other local-to-their-localities talents. Your friendliness and high-level social skills were awesome, if intimidating. The BF took tons of wonderful photos to document the wonderfulness, the best of which I'll post to Flickr when he quits futzing with them in Photoshop and hands them over.

Brandon, Jenny: words fail me. Thank you for organizing. Thank you for caring enough to give me my own, SCD-compliant schwag bag. (Thank you even more for caring enough to NOT give me herpes.)

And Dave? Dave, you crazy, mad, lovable genius of design deliciousness? Those lanyards are THE TITS, baby...THE TITS!!!

xxx c

Image by Whateverthing via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license. If you want a good feel for why I fell in love with Portland, check out his photostream.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to rain I go

tequila Once again, I'm heading for climes I have no proper gear for. Soon there will be more pictures of me in hiliter-yellow 1980s outerwear (hey! puffy parkas are in again!) or looking like a MacMichelin Man in my ridiculous layers.

But to hell with it. It's been an arduous month of illness, insanity and income tax; it's time we leavened things with a little inebriation, dammit! Hell, Uma would want that more than anything!

I'll have both laptop and The BF in tow on this PacNW adventure, so perhaps I'll post.

Or perhaps I'll just get stinky-drunk, buy a crapload of books and see you all next week.

That's what's great about life, my friends: it's one great big fucking adventure, innit?

xxx c

Image by Alicia via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Citizen of the Day (a.k.a. The Carnival of Neilochka)

Dicky the Perv So you thought it was all about the gifts, eh, compadre? (Well, for Expat Jane, an expert in, I shit you not, packing at the main Seoul P.O., it was, but that's another story at the end of this one.)

No, Neil, my L.A. neighbor, my inspiration 30 miles south on the 405. When the lovely Sophia told me of her plan to gather your readers in an orgy of commerce to celebrate your birthday, I said, "F**k that noise; Neil, our most generous patron of page hits via his extensive linking, must be honored in the way that suits him and his famous member best: bloggy-style!"

But Sophia, I quickly realized, is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Plus, I get the idea she likes presents. I mean, I know you wouldn't put all those conservative titles on your own commie-left-wing Amazon WishList. So the Gift Bonanza was on, although Sophia graciously if reluctantly gave her blessing for this, the First (and, unless someone else does it next year, the last) Carnival of Neilochka!!!

Carnival smileys

For awhile, I thought we might have to name this "The Carnival of Neilochka's Penis". Neil's penis has inspired many a blog post. And while Finn reminds us that when it COMES to Neil a talking penis is just the TIP of the iceberg, I still smell a penis, out to steal the limelight!

And Daisy, of I Said the F Word, even hoodwinked her husband into driving to L.A. just to visit Neil's penochka!

Friends! This is shameful! Citizen Neil is more than his member only: he is a man of depth as well as breadth (not to mention length and girth). And, as his friend (and pre-birthday host) Danny Miller of Jew Eat Yet? points out, Neilochka has the deep, dark secrets that accompany such depth.

This Journey attests as well to the many, many things we can, and have, learned from Neil Kramer.

And if it weren't for Our Citizen of the Interwebs and his brilliant sense of humor, where would poor Nancy French be? Stuck out there in Deliverance territory with nothing but an old Annie Hall DVD to stave off her pizza-free gloom, that's where!

Legs are important

Besides, given Citizen Neil's growing popularity, it may be time for him to broaden his horizons. Via TherapyDoc, Headline WSJ: Neil runs for President of the United States, Wins Handily. (Direct Quote: "My mother told me to be nice to people and you know? She was right! It's SO key!")

And Nance over at Dept. of Nance, clever and intrepid journalist that she is, actually traveled forward in time to grab an exclusive interview with Neil-of-the-Future, the famous self-help book writer, for USA Today! Take that, Carnival of the Mundane!

I think Neil owes a huge popularity to his way with the ladies. If I could divine his method and bottle it, I could retire a multi-billionaire tomorrow! Seriously, folks, Neilochka has all sorts of lady-fans from all over the world who wanted to wish him well on his special day, like Breann of Firefighters Daughter; Tara of Paris Parfait; Fitèna of C'est la Vie!; Miriam, of Miriam's Ideas (keeping it real with what looks like an original, if unauthenticated, Hugh MacLeod).

A hard day's night

More than anything, something about Neilochka seems to bring out the poet in people.

Everyday Goddess salutes Neil both in haiku and limerick form (a little something for those of you who hail from Nantucket.)

Befitting her unofficial title as Poet Laureate of Neal Nation, Pearl has composed a second poem for Neil on his Name Day, set to the tune of The Brady Bunch theme song, so you can sing along! Hopefully, Neil will at some point share Pearl's other opus when he's done hanging with the hippies in Mendocino or making his estranged wife, Sophia, take baths without water.

Not to be outdone, Jane Doe of By the Way... also penned an Ode to Neil. That infamous hussy, Two Roads, combines two, two, two songs in one to note this auspicious occasion. Wendy, of Quiet About a Lot of Things, added a picture and a promise to her poem. And Roberta, of Roberta's Voice, has a whole category devoted to Odes to People on their Birthdays.

let's get together

Even a carnival is not all fun. It takes effort, and planning! (That may be the understatement of the Citizen of the Month.) Better Safe Than Sorry of Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture fretted over what to give the Man and His Penis Who Have Everything, before arriving at the perfect solution.

McKay has a couple of things for you rattling around in what sounds like the world's largest purse.

V-Grrrl took the easy way out and sent an electronic card of sorts. And while I wouldn't call what Ascender does "easy", I would characterize you as "lucky" for counting her among your many fans.

And planning is something you'll have to get on yourself, by the way. As Tamar says, you owe her a little something and the time is coming to pay the piper.

But all parties, even weeklong ones, must come to an end. And I cannot think of a more fitting one than this, from Mo, aka Catharsis Queen, who sums it all up for us in a few words and a picture.

"Legend", huh? So that's what the kids are calling it these days...

xxx c

UPDATE: Since this was all done under cover of darkness with a blind captain at the helm (wait...that would mean I was competent, scratch that), a few tributes did not make it to the post in time for publication, i.e., me scrambling to figure out at 8:03am why this did not autopost at 2:51am. (So much for my super-spy tactics.)

So...

Ariel, one of Neil's legions of fans from Across the Pond, weighs in with her well wishes and a typical British "howdy-do" at the end, on from fuck-up to fab!

Jill (aka Introspectre) finally pulls out of her "migraine" long enough to post an excellent birthday poem to Neil. (Warning: this post is safe, but the rest of Introspectre is an adults-only website.)

Finally (we think, anyway), Lefty of Long Relief squeaks in just under the wire two days after the fact with a gripping tale of how Neil saved his life.

Images by (top to bottom): Fred Armitage, Orbital Joe, dou_ble_you, Orbital Joe, dou_ble_you, via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Uma, Fernando and the magic of You

umameter I know many of you only visit this site in Bloglines, or NewsFire, or whatever your favorite RSS reader is. I am happy to have you read; really, it is all I ask. The actual prettiness of the site (or lack thereof, which I'll get to) is beside the point.

But if you've been reading from your RSS reader and not the site itself, while you've been spared some wonky-ass-ness from old code, you've missed the phenomenon of the UMAmeter and its meteoric rise.

Even if you've only read via RSS, you've had access to Uma and her bizarre tale of woe: a series of seizures a month ago in a New York bed; (not) waking up in a stage 5 coma at the St. Vincent's neurological IC unit, surrounded by doctors and worried loved ones; the green hearts on UMAtine's Day, at the very least.

So I'm-a spell it out for you about UMA: this is a girl who wants to L-I-V-E. She has beaten all odds, she is fighting her way back like a champeen, and soon, so soon, she will be wending her way back to L.A. via air ambulance at the staggering price of $20,000. That's, um, one-way.

What you've been missing these past coupla days, my RSS friends, is the aforementioned rise of the aforementioned UMAmeter. To the tune of $10K in two days. And this girl is theater-actor, MediCal poor, with broke-ass L.A. theater friends. But the call has been sounded around the world, and one ignores it at one's own loss.

My prediction? Even with slowing returns, we'll hit $15K in one day, maybe two. DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU!!! She has got a staggering fight ahead of her, with staggering attendant costs. I know; I was sick once, four years ago, and my bill came to $80K and change. For 11 days. And I had good insurance!

I'm posting a big-ass thing on blogging.la tomorrow that covers the story in detail, so I won't belabor it here. Go. Give. All you people who asked what you could do for me when I was sick, and I said "no, it's covered"? Give now. Give to Uma. She needs your help. The people who are helping her need your help.

Be a part of a winning trend! Be able to look back years from now, when Uma is president or Chief Troublemaker or whatever Major Thing she's destined for and say, "uh, yeah, I made it happen." Go here now and give, bruthah!

And then mosey on over to fernando_graphicos, designer supreme, who graciously sent me the fresh code for the communicatrix website so it'd look purty for all you people. Oooh and aaaah over his juicy design goodness and uber-mensch-ness.

And then get on back to your regular lives and raise some fucking hell. Because that, more than anything, is what Uma wishes she was doing right now.

xxx c

Give to the Uma Fund. Go to blogging.la for more details (on Feb 28) now!

Nerd Love, Day 18: Nerd retirement

Dan's friend Every nerd has her weakness, and I have finally acknowledged mine: I am no longer providing adequate value for my beloved blogging.la. So rather than fuck it up, I'm bowing out to let some young (or old) and vigorous type step in.

It was a damned fine couple of years, and I'll be sad to let it go.

On the other hand, now I can go nuts in the comment section like all the rest of the old cranks.

Maybe that's what happens to old nerds: they don't actually die, or even fade away; they just become full-on, yarnspinnin', pants-to-the-nipples-hitchin' geezers...

xxx c

UPDATE: Just so we're clear (because certain comments lead me to believe we might not be), I'm not quitting this here blog: I'm leaving blogging.la, the L.A. flagship of the metroblogging empire. They don't need me; you cats just might...

Image by Todd Ehlers via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.

Nerd Love, Day 17: Offline!

Liz and Robert Plant Yes, when Chief Nerd and Bottle Washer takes a day off, she engages chiefly in elective nerd activities. Yesterday's project was a long put-off expansion and reorganization of communicatrix HQ, adding file cab #2 and getting the G5 back online at full operating power.

This is notable for two reasons:

First, nerds have unaccountable phobias like everyone else. Mine is change. When the G5 had a hard drive cramp way, way back in July of last year, my solution was to move everything onto my 12" PowerBook and ignore the fact that it took me a third again as long to get the simplest task done. Why? Because I was too scared/lazy/stubborn to bring the G5 into the Apple store, which makes no sense because it was still under warranty/not that heavy/no comment. And then, even after it was abundantly clear that there was nothing wrong with the drive that a clean install couldn't fix, I still resisted loading everything back on because...oh, well, because clearly, I am out of my mind.

Second, pulling everything, and I mean everything, apart meant that I was offline for the better part of 12 hours, also known as a nerd eternity.

I could post a photo of my spiffy new setup (or the heinous tangle of wires it seems I am cursed with until the lights go out), but this morning, when I got back online, I woke up to this wonderful photo of my newly 40-year-old sister posing in some parking lot with Robert Plant. It was so random, I had to run with it.

So happy belated birthday, my beautiful Elizabeth, and may this decade be your best 10 years yet.

xxx c